Why Not Me?

Yibo is back!

"Yi...Yibo.. Wang Yibo.....uh...Wha....what.. is it really you? What are you  doing here? It's... it's been so long...How have you been? Are you doing  well? Where have you been? When did you come back?"

I cant't control my emotions and have been bombarding him  with questions. He's just staring at me. Does he not remember me? Why  can't I stop all these emotions bursting out of my chest. Does he not  want to speak to me still? What do I do if he does not remember me?
It  hurt when Yibo left without a word. It hurt even more when he refused  to keep in touch. But he's back now and he seems different. Is he still  my same old friend? I never really understood what I did to lose my best  friend. Zhan's mind was going crazy.

"It's me.. Zhan...Xiao Zhan.. we were together in college for 3 years.. do you remember me?" The silence is killing me.. why is he just standing there staring at me.

"Xiao Zhan... yes of course I remember you. How can I forget? Hope you are doing well.. how's life with Phun. Is he doing well?"

"Phun...hmm.."

  
I haven't talked about Phun for over 2 years now. Yibo still  remembers him. He has not been keeping in touch so of course he wouldn't   know that we are not together anymore.

"I guess you can say that.. I hope he's doing well too.. we are  not together anymore Yibo..he.. he's..he's not here anymore..I guess he  didn't love me as much as I did huh" Xiao Zhan said struggling to hold  back his tears. Seeing Yibo and talking about Phun was taking a toll on  him.

  
I don't understand this feeling right now. I'm happy that I've met  Yibo.. but should I also be mad that he has left me for all these  years? And it hurts talking about Phun. I just wish I could go back to  college when things were normal between us without this awkwardness.

"What do you mean Zhan? What happened between you two? I thought you loved him" Yibo said a little too aggressively.

"I did. Very much. I still do...But he died in a car crash...in  Shanghai...couple of years ago". Zhan could not control his tears and let  them fall finally.

Yibo was in shock! He did not know what to say and could not believe what happened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Yibo finally muttered.

"That is because you disappeared from my life Yibo. You didn't  know coz you decided to not be part of my life. You weren't there when I  needed you. You weren't there when I needed my friend. You.." Zhan saw  the expression on Yibo's face and stopped suddenly.

"I'm sorry Yibo.. forget what I said.. I didn't mean it. It's so  good to see you after a long time.. Let's not dwell on the things from  the past. Tell me about you, tell me what have you been doing?"

"I'm really sorry Zhan, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry for everything" Yibo said.

"It's ok Yibo, it's not your fault really." Zhan smiled to  lighten the mood. Yibo realized that Zhan's smile still had the same  impact on him. It still drove him crazy just as before. He hurriedly  looked down avoiding Zhan's eyes.

"You've changed a lot, Yibo.. you look serious and so different in a  suit" Zhan started again. "What are you doing tonight? Do you want to  catch up for a drink?"

Yibo could not say no and so he nodded and they quickly wrapped  up there and started walking out with a heavy burden in their chests.

The drive to the restaurant that Yibo's bodyguard had booked for  their dinner was rather quiet and sombre. Neither of them knowing how to  start a conversation. The awkwardness between them was evident. They  were not the same old kids from college anymore. Life has changed them.  They were greeted by the restaurant manager and were shown to a very  private booth at the back end of the restaurant reserved solely for the  rich and famous.