Love Me Tomorrow

CHAPTER 4

I waited. I barely sleep because I want to be conscious when he came back. Gusto ko sasalubungin ko siya sa pag-uwi niya. Naghintay ako sa opisina niya dahil alam kong papasok siya but he didn't show up. Halos mamuti ang mga mata ko sa paghihintay sakanya pero ni anino niya ay hindi ko nakita.

I hired an investigator to track his location. I can't contact him. Minsan nagriring naman pero kinacancel niya ang tawag ko. Iniwan niya din lahat ng trabaho niya kay Anselmo, his secretary. I begged him to tell me where his boss is but he told me that he was given a work via email. I did not believe him until he showed me his emails. He's not lying to me.

I can't grant your divorce that's why you're leaving me, Del Prado? Nawala din bigla sa eksena si Ardelle kaya malakas ang kutob kong magkasama silang dalawa. Wherever you are, I'll fucking hunt the hell you down. You cannot leave me! Hindi ako ang iiwanan!

I'm meeting my hired investigator today dahil may nalaman daw siya.

I'm so desperate to find him. Kahit maubos ang pera ko basta makita ko lang siya. Kahit magyelo ako sa lamig niya basta sakin siya uuwi. I don't care if he doesn't love me as long as he's my damn husband. I care less of all the pain he inflected on me. Wala na akong pakialam kung nagawa niya akong lokohin. We can give this marriage a second chance.

The investigator is seated alone at the corner of the restaurant. Naglakad ako palapit sakanya. The anticipation is killing me. Gusto ko nang marinig ang kung ano mang sasabihin niya sakin ngayon.

"What is it that you want to tell me?" hindi pa man ako nakakaupo ay tinanong ko na agad siya. May hawak siyang brown envelope at iniabot niya 'yon sakin. Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong kinabahan.

There's a part of me that doesn't want to open the envelope but the anticipation is killing me.

I was paralyzed for a second when I finally saw what's inside.

I regretted opening it.

The envelope contains of pictures of my husband with Ardelle. This is recent dahil may date ang bawat litrato.

A picture of Tage possessively wrapping his arms on Ardelle's waist habang palabas ng Hospital. May papasok ng private jet. Picture of them kissing and all. They're in a private resort. Hindi ko napigilan ang mga luha ko. Para akong sinaksak nang sinaksak sa mga nakita ko.

Is this really what you want, Ynessa? Ang harap-harapang niloloko? You can have anyone. Bakit kailangan mong ipilit ang sarili mo sa lalaking 'yon? Sa lalaking una palang ay hindi ka mahal.

He doesn't love you. He said that. He proved that. Loud and clear.

There are also photos na nakikipagkita siya sa abogado niya. Gustong-gusto niya na talagang makawala sakin.

"I'll deposit your payment in your account. Thank you." I said before leaving.

Nanginginig na ako sa sakit. Gusto kong magwala. I want to throw all the damn things in this restaurant.

It's already dead end, Ynessa. Tama na.

I found myself dialing my lawyer's number.

"I'm filing a divorce." I said and ended the call. I promised myself that I will never be left out. Pero hindi ko na ata kaya 'yung sakit. Sobrang sakit na.

Wala akong ibang ginawa nang araw na iyon kundi ang umiyak nang umiyak. I threw all of the things inside my room and burst into tears. Parang pinipilipit ang puso ko sa sobrang sakit. Nahihirapan akong huminga kaya kinailangan ko pang magtungo sa may bintana ng kwarto ko. Doon malalim akong humugot ng hininga.

Para akong natauhan nang makita ang cellphone kong umiilaw dahil sa isang tawag. I saw my lawyer's name in the screen. Bumalik sa akin ang mga sinabi ko kanina. Agad kong sinagot ang tawag.