Serene Collision

Special: Leo's Private Journal Entry#3

Hi❤️
I miss updating.
I miss you guys.
Hope you enjoy💕

This is a diary entry Leo did shortly after he and Carmin officially became a couple.

Home in bed.
November 2020

We're together.

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I haven't stop fucking smiling since she agreed to be my girlfriend.

My Piccolina.

It happened after I brought her home with me. I found her in the rain, with a blunt in her hand, yelling up at the sky. The silly girl asked herself if she had powers.

My crazy girl.

I pulled her in the car, and made her change into an extra shirt I had in the backseat, since her clothes were fucking soaked.

She looks better in my clothes than I do.

I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't stop no matter how many times I tried. I would give her all my clothes.

Yes. I took her back to my apartment. Yes I lied to Nic, and told him we were going to my parents house. And yes, I could have waited for the rain to stop in order to take her home. But I-

Why the hell do I need to explain myself to a journal?

She held my hand the whole time we were walking in the building, it was so nice. She usually yanks her hand away after a while and tells me to go fuck myself, but this time she didn't.

Once we got into the apartment I took her straight into the bathroom so she could shower. I was worried about her getting sick. I didn't know how long she had been in that damn rain before I showed up.

We ate some leftovers Issy bought me afterwards. I watched her the whole time. I can't imagine how you can focus when the person you like is right beside you, wearing your clothes.I barely finished my food.

I was too obsessed.

We finally had that discussion I'd been meaning to have, ever since Dr. Jones gave me this "courting" advice, on Jealousy.

I almost went crazy when she told me she was jealous of Aaliyah. How does she just come out and say it like that? I didn't even notice. I wouldn't have even guessed that Carmin has that sort of feeling about me.....

She...she's good at hiding emotion.

Anyone would notice my jealousy. I start glaring, and swearing, and if something is near, I'll start throwing.

We shared the bed that night. And yes I laid close to her, and- I feel like this fucking journal is judging me!

We talked for a minute before I just straight out confessed to her again. She was smiling, and we were laughing together....I just had to.

I asked her to go out with me afterwards. It was so quick from my mouth. I was so nervous.

I already had my mind set on pursuing her even harder if she said no.

But she said yes. My heart felt like it was going to fucking explode. I climbed onto her like a little kid, and hugged her tight. She was so fucking warm and nice. God I could hold her all day.

Then I just had to go and ask to kiss her. I immediately regretted it when I saw the look on her face. Her eyes got wide, and she moved away a bit.

I felt like such a pervert.

But to my surprise, she said yes.

It was amazing. She tastes nice. My lips were tingling all night and the morning after.

It was terrible taking her back home the next day, but Nic called and I had to. I wanted her to stay with me. I wish we could just lay in bed and hug all day.

She kissed my cheek before she left the car. It was just a quick peck on the cheek, but I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

The next day we were supposed to go for a date. Piccolina told me she had family matters to attend to.

SHE LIED.

Fuck. All that morning I was fucking angry because she hadn't shown up for class and she wouldn't pick up the phone. I texted her like crazy and called her like crazy but the girl would not answer me! I started to get anxious and nervous and my mind, as it always does, started to wonder.

Was she mad at me? Did she not like the kiss?

Did she want to break up?

The mind is the most troubling part of your body. The imagination is all chaos on earth.

My mind always goes straight to the worse. I know I'm not the best person for choice in a relationship.

In my head....I know I don't deserve Carmin. I know.

I'm not the best person in the world. But I like her...I like her a lot. And she likes me. So I'll do whatever it takes to be better for her. To be a good boyfriend, and to make her happy.

I was so stressed when she didn't answer the phone. All I could think of was...the worst.

After school I wanted to go right to her house and scold her for not answering my calls, but I had to go to Dr. Jones  first.

My anger was probably rolling off of me by then, since Dr. Jones was quick to notice. When he told me she was sick, all my worry multiplied by two.

Piccolina was asleep in the bed, by the time I got to her room. She looked exhausted, and small.

She grumbled at me for being in the room, and kept trying to push me out. That made me even more mad. I'm supposed to be her boyfriend. We're together and she.....ughhhh.

I want to know if she's feeling sick, or if she's doing okay-She shouldn't have to lie to me about it. And..my mind started wandering again, and I started to rile myself up

I know it wasn't kind of me. But I yelled at a sick person. She kept trying to get me to leave, and I wanted to be there for her.

As soon as she apologized to me, I knew my mind was off and assuming again.

It was a simple matter of, "I don't want to spread my germs to you, idiot."

And of course I had to escalate it, because I'm a certified psychopath.

I laid in the bed with her. She was so warm from the fever.

A curse word hadn't left her mouth since I showed up. She hadn't even barked at me for yelling at her. I knew as soon as she got better she would put me in place for it.

It all went to show just how sick she was.

I held her close, making sure she was comfortable. I don't think I had ever wanted someone to recover so much. I liked it when she was yelling at me for flirting with her, and cursing my existence for stealing hugs from her.

I hated it when she was in pain. She didn't even want to eat or move.

And yes, I snuck right back into her room, after Nic kicked me out.

I swear if this journal judges me one more fucking time!

Anyway.

I held her for the rest of the night and all day after that. I skipped school with her for the rest of that week.

I wouldn't leave until my Piccolina was better.

What did you think?
Leo😭💕 my precious babe
Hiatus is about to be over guys, finals are coming to a close.
I'll post a message about my return date on my conversation board on my profile.
Thx for reading.
-malayjahthewriter