"im sorry?" miles streched his neck out as he almost choked on his own spit.
"you heard me" kate replied.
"why do you"
"h-how could you" kate added as she used her hands for enthusiasm.
"it's, i-it's" miles hesitated, his tounge was in a knot and so was his own stomach.
he inhaled, his finger nails digging deep into the chair's arm rest as he faced the blonde woman whom sat before him.
"my parents" he gulped.
kate furrowed her brows.
"what? so you're bringing your parents into this? i dont unde-"
"they fought..a lot" he paused, as the knot in his stomach tightened.
"they'd say their 'i love yous' one hour then the next they'd be screaming the hell out of their lungs while flora and I watched them with our own eyes, sending death threats to each other."
"i was scared, s-scared as f*ck about falling in love. i cou-couldn't trust it" he stuttered.
"e-even after they passed, i still pushed 'love' out, even after meeting nova..i couldn't feel anything honestly." he sighed..
"so what was your point into dating her miles? i mean you just wasted half your teenage years with someone whom you barely talked t-"
"we still talk..sort of."
"kind of" he added as he tilted his head.
"you know, she kissed me" miles grinned.
"kissed you? w-when?" kate rose herself a few inches off of her seat in shock.
"the flower shop, s-she came in and just kissed me. it's pathetic bu-"
"did you kiss back?" kate asked, her eyes widening.
miles shut his mouth, his face turning pink with embarrassment as he looked away.
"w-what if i did?" he muttered loud enough for kate to hear.
"miles!" she scoffed, slapping his arm.
"i gave in! i admit, i missed having something like that..god" miles chuckled.
"i didn't feel it though" he sighed, his smile slowly dropping into nothing but loneliness.
"feel what" kate asked.
"the kiss, the 'love'" miles mimicked how kate had sounded earlier..putting two fingers for quotes beside his head.
kate mouthed an 'oh' before she let herself sink onto her chair and looked at the foggy view once again.
-
though miles was traumatized with the idea of love and being loved, he tried keeping his thoughts off of it. nova was nothing but someone whom was his first kiss, even years before he couldn't quite come up to her and tell her straight away 'hey i love you' love was just..not in his category.
"i'm gonna go" miles softly said as he raised himself from the seat and speed walked back into the warm household where he spotted flora's hair getting brushed by mrs. grose's own fingers.
he tried speed walking past the two, although mrs. grose hadn't mind anything miles did..flora would always start the chat.
"where ya goin'?" she hopped, her hair getting brushed off of the fingers of mrs grose's.
"nowhere, just, just stay here" he muttered, giving a sign he was clearly annoyed.
flora tilted her head then shortly gasped as she showed her toothless smile once again.
"forgot to tell ya! y/n left a few hours ago"
"i know, i could tell" he told her, his eyes on the door as he slowly approached the broken knob and fled out of the driveway.
he didn't know where he would be headed but he knew one thing, the reason why he had cared so much for y/n.
he finally knew it,
he finally f*cking knew it.
-
though it was already late evening, the gray clouds made the sky look as if it had been early morning. small spots of rain could be felt on his skin as he paced back and fourth on the same street, awaiting for y/n to arrive. then..the rain began to increase. the rain making small puddles on every spot he had walked as he groaned as taxi drivers past him, the puddles splashing onto his sweatshirt.
"idiots" he muttered as he hugged himself with the sleeves.
if he was seeing straight, he had seen the same petite girl across from him. she had no umbrella, her hair was drenched and parted onto both sides of her shoulders. she was wearing a green (or not) sweater dress but from the dark night no one could even tell if it had color. she froze in her spot as he spotted the same boy with messy curly hair, red sweater, and black jeans. his hair had looked like a mop from the rain which brought a smile on her lips.
"you're gonna get sick" she said as she approached him.
he chuckled as he looked down and put his hands in his pockets.
"can say the same about you" he finally responded.
"i mean you're very soaked" he added.
"whatever, what are you doing here? this late. in the rain" (y/n) stated as she adjusted her sweater dress.
"i wa-was looking for um, you" he stuttered making (y/n) widen her eyes.
"why would you do that"
"because i wanted to tell you something" he sighed.
"you don't need to, if you're just here to remind me about how you don't feel the same way ..i get it. no need for clarification." she scoffed as she laughed at herself.
"i-" miles was going to start but got cut off.
"no, dont. it's better enough to not even say anything, it's been weeks miles. it's fine, i'm fine" she stated as she shushed him with her finger.
"if you hate me, go ahead i'll leave you alone if it bothered you enough to come here and talk to me" she said as she looked down, her ears flooded with the sound of pitter patter of the rain.
miles softly pushed her finger off of his lips as he started to talk again.
"i..i wasn't here to 'remind you how i don't feel the same way'" he muttered enough for her to hear.
(y/n) slowly looked up to him, seeing the rain dripping from his hair.
"make it quick miles, i'm not wasting my time with another apology of yours after i've told you i'm fi-"
"i love you" he cut her off.
