NEVER the SAME

THE SECRET OF LIFE.

SO, heyo guys or gals whom I do not know . JUST A REMINDER THAT EVERY THING THAT I WRITE HERE IS ALL OF MY OPINIONS AND IDEOLOGIES . ENJOY THOUGH :/

( DONT ASK ME WHY I HAVE PUT A PIC OF HAWKS ;0)

If you ask me how my days are going i'd simply grin at you and say that i am bored but happy that i do not need to go out of my house or meet people. Its not like this pandemic is making me more introvert or anything. NOT AT ALL. I have always been like this since i was maybe five or six.

I never open up about anything. Thats always on my 'NEVER TO DO' list. ALWAYS. 

One thing that i have always learnt is that success is that what you want. Someone can call themselves successful even without a lavish life or maybe a fancy car or a two storeyed house with a pool in it. Sometimes happiness can be getting a call from your loved one, getting the last slice of pizza, watching some good anime, watching stars twinkle while holding that persons hand. Its the small things that matter. Now you may say to me whats new in that; but to watch stars and hold hands nowadays you need to first find somebody and to find somebody you need to study ,get a job, be respected, HAVE to be good looking and smart in every ways. I would agree to every word you guys say . But I want you guys to be an exception. Take it as a challenge, find somebody who has seen you in your most bright as well as worst days. 

If you can ; let me tell you something, you have won in life and you are doing awesome. 

now, what do you guys think the secret of living a good life is-

Is it getting good grades?

Is it getting a high post job?

Is it crushing your own dreams so the society can mock you ? 

cuz guess what my society did the same thing to me and my fellow teenagers.  I had read a very good poem once in my language class. It was about a boy who wanted to break all social norms and be something so unique so beautiful that this fucking society could not accept it. GenZ is trash, they do not think about actions. Me being a part of genz feels ashamed sometimes that what might happen in the years to come. Will there be any hope that someday the people who have known us for all their lives could atleast think about what we want. What we crave . What we desire. SUCCESS is what you make of it . Until and unless you realize that , its gonna be a problem. 

( i know you guys are bored a lot about my ranting but bear with me ) 

I decided to talk about it cause if i dont , nobody else will.

So my parents took a very bad decision in putting me into SCIENCE rather that HUMANTIES. In my country parents only want one thing- GRADES , MEDICAL/EINGENEERING/ACCOUNTANT . Now you may say its normal for parents to expect from us but I would say nobody is born with same intellect or same brain.

everybody wants different things in life . Like i want Levi Ackerman to be real but what can we do. When i forced to give up on my dreams i became more consistent . Lets see what the future holds for me . 

I have changed a lot since quarrantine started . At first there was a lot of texting and calling of friends always having conversations with them that end with "I MISS YOU TOO ".

I have lost a lot of friends in the past 5 years. I had the worst break up in my life 2 years ago. ( NOW I HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE THOUGH, HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND SINCE THE PAST 4 YEARS AND WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR NOW ) . I do not have any complaints aboy mt love life. HE is an absolutely amazing person. HE is the reason i did on give up on myself and am fighting with all I have left in my tired body. Its really been tiring huh. Never thought i would have to face something like this just to ful fill my dreams . 

I have become more and more introverted, more addicted to books and mangas and yaoi ;) and all kinds if books. I have been reading a lot about psyhcology though. Watching a lot of crime documentaries. Let me tell you I am an INFJ. Sometimes I do think about creating a black notebook and name it death note and aimlessly kill people who are just a waste of air and employment crushing teenage minds like monster truck. If I could I would have definately done that. 

I literally get tired after listening to my bio teacher speak over the phone trying to teach me about fucking parenchyma. I am literally so frustrated on that little bitch parenchyma . When did bio get so out of hand . When did i start getting irritated even at little things ? 

YES I CHANGED, ITS GOOD OR BAD I DONT REALLY KNOW BUT I HAVE LEARNED THE SECRET OF LIFE: 

" PEOPLE CHANGE PEOPLE " 

Wait for me i wil bring you more and more depression and make you rethink your life choices and make you question your existence. 

BREATHE IN AND BREATH OUT. I GOT YOU. ITS GONNA BE A VERY GOOD LIFE