Winter Is Here // Game Of Thrones

Wolf Judges the Lion(Audelia POV)

"Of course I meant it.", I finally admit. 

"Do you wish you didn't?", asked Jaime weakly, insecurity in his voice. I looked at him for a long time.

"No", I admit to him, to myself. 

"You should. I am just going to continue hurting you, it's what I do. I hurt those I care about around me. It's who I am. I am a bad person".

"No, Jaime-", I tried to argue.

"I am a cripple, Lilibet", he murmured and my heart clenched at how much pain was in his voice. He was broken.

Truly broken.

"I don't care", I reply truthfully. "You are still Jaime Lannister to me".

"I am not the same man anymore", he whispered.

"Maybe that's a good thing.", I propose. "You can change, and be better". I look at him genuinely.

"There it is, I know that look. I've seen it for 17 years face after face", said Jaime, his voice cracking and I looked at him confused.

"You all despise me", he continued.

"Kingslayer".

"Oathbreaker".

"A man without honor".

He stopped and I looked over at him slightly. It pained me to see him this way. I remembered when he used to be so cocky, it was sickening. Now he was just... cracked like a glass figure.

"You've heard of wildfire?", asked Jaime.

"Of course".

"The Mad King was obsessed with it".

"He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones. He burned lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long, half the country was against him. Aerys saw traitors everywhere. So he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city ... beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea Bottom. Under houses, stables, taverns. Even beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of reckoning came.", explained Jaime and I watched him in anticipation.  I never agreed with my fathers hate towards Jaime, but I also never disagreed with it. Jaime betrayed his King, but his King was mad. Most of us would most likely be dead if Jaime hadn't killed Aerys Targaryen. 

"Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father better than that. He's never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the king didn't listen to me. He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt.", continued Jaime and I listened carefully.

"You can trust the Lannisters', he said. 'The Lannisters have always been true friends to the crown'. So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city".

"Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to... bring him my father's head. Then he... turned to his pyromancer. ", said Jaime and his voice died down. He regained his composure shortly.

"Burn them all,' he said. 'Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds."

I watched Jaime with pity. He has gone through so much. So many bad things happened to him, yet he always came out on top. But losing his hand. It may have been the last straw for him.

"First, I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee, I drove my sword into his back. 'Burn them all,' he kept saying. 'Burn them all.' I don't think he expected to die. He ... he meant to... burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash. I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen. ", he concluded. "That's where Ned Stark found me."

I flinched at the mention of my father. 

"You know, my father didn't hate you because you betrayed your vows", I began. It finally clicked in my head why father disliked Jaime so much.

"Really?", scoffed Jaime.

"He hated the fact that you deprived him of his revenge for his father, brother and sister", I explained and Jaime look up. 

"But if what you say is true, why didn't you tell my father what happened?", I asked after a moment.

"Do you think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side of the story?", asked Jaime.

"He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me".

"By what right does the wolf, judge the lion?", asked Jaime. I could see that he wasn't feeling well, so I swam over to him.

"Jaime, look at me", I begged quietly and he looked at me. His green Lannister eyes were so tired, and sad, and pained. I could see insecurity deep in his eyes. He looked away from me but I pushed his face back towards me.

"You are not the villain in my story".

He looked surprised to hear me say that. A tear slipped his eye and I wiped it away with my thumb. For a moment we just looked at each other but then suddenly Jaime fell to the side and I caught him barely in time.

"Jaime?", I asked scared. 

"Lilibet....", he whispered a nickname for me.

"Jaime!", I screamed but his eyes closed. 

"Help! Someone help!".