Small Town Summer

1: TRAGEDY

Most people say that the moment after you witness a loved ones death, everything goes blurry. You are meant to obtain some kind of surreal feeling, as though you're experiencing a horrible nightmare and you are just waiting, praying that you'll wake up... Thats how it goes in all the movies I've watched and books I've read anyways.

However, my experience was different. I will never forget how my gut wrenched in the moments after my life was changed forever. No matter how hard I've tried, I can't forget it. I don't think I ever will. Often, I'm unable to control when the moment replays in my mind. Seeing someone I love so much being taken away from me in such a tragic way. It's engraved in my brain. I'd give anything to be able to shake the feeling of the pressure on my chest.

Amelia was hands down the most inspiring person I have ever known. She achieved so much in such a short amount of time. Being only three years older than me, we grew up together. I didn't call her my Aunt, because she was much more like my sister. Amelia moved in with us when she was 16, the age I am now. After her mother, my Grandmother, took her own life three years ago.

Gran had been sick for as long as I can remember. She had her good days, these were the days we had hope that she would get better. But it was just that, hope. Eventually, she lost her battle.

My Gran was abused when she was young. I never actually found out who it had been that inflicted such pain on her, because she always refused to press charges, or even speak about it to anyone but her therapist. All I know was that the sexual abuse resulted in her first pregnancy, my Mum. Gran named Mum after the city she was born in, Adelaide. She ran away from home when she was fifteen, being too embarrassed to tell her family about her pregnancy. When she finally arrived home with a newborn baby, her parents disowned her. I think she may have had some of brothers and sisters too, but she never heard from them again, nor did she try to track them down.

Gran said that these events were the start of her "curse..." It's what she liked to call her depression. She always made sure we knew that she would never change anything though. Because the terrible circumstances did bring her one good thing - my mother.

When Gran was in her thirties, she fell pregnant for the second time. Mum always assumed it was the result of a one night stand, but I guess we could never have been sure. Her three best moments in life were when her two girls were born, as well as when her Granddaughter was born. I heard her say those exact words more times than I could count.

I loved my Gran. However, she always said that her and I were the same, and that scared me.

"You know Callie, you are a lot like I. We have the same mind... the same heart... the same soul. We feel things the same way." She dotted my nose. I would have been around ten years old when she told me this. Back then, I thought it was a good thing - but I grew to discover it was not.

We were close. So close, I could see how badly she struggled every day. I never understood what kind of sickness she had until she died. My mother described it to me as her just being sad. It wasn't just being sad.

Amelia was over for a sleepover. I was thirteen and she was sixteen. I will never forget peeking around the corner and seeing Mum collapsed on the floor in a puddle of tears, after the police had come knocking at our door. Gran had been found at the bottom of Bondi cliffs. I didn't even know what suicide was until that day. It was hard, watching Amelia find out about her mother's death. But it was nothing compared to the struggle of the last three weeks.

Amelia moved in to our three bedroom penthouse apartment, which was located in the centre of Sydney, Australia, almost immediately. And from then on we were inseparable. She guided me through my first kiss, my first period, she taught me how to braid, how to shave, she taught me respect and so many more things. Most of what I know has come from her.