I Can't Even [Reader X Reader X Reader]

Danish Guy

"Who in their right mind would let you babysit?"

"What makes you think I'd be a bad babysitter?" he asked. I handed his card back and it sunk into his hand.

"You're a kidnapper," I said.

"No I'm not."

"You're like, literally kidnapping me right now."

"No, I'm threatening to kidnap you if you don't comply. That's different."

I squinted at him, not sure if he was being serious. I concluded that he was being completely serious.

"But to answer your question, mostly rich parents."

"Please elaborate."

"Why get a normal babysitter when you can afford one with superpowers? So if something crazy were to happen, like, I don't know, aliens tried to kidnap the kid, they'd be super-protected!"

"Huh."

"Yeah!"

"Where are we going, anyways?"

"I already told you. Gas station," he said.

"Oh, I sort of assumed you were like, lying about that? Why the gas station?"

He shrugged. "I'm not allowed to say."

"How much are they paying you?"

"I'm going to stop you right there. I don't care if you can offer me more. Taking your offer would be unprofessional and immoral."

The gas station came into view. It looked completely normal, like any old gas station. That's when I put my escape plan into action...

I bonked the dude's head with my wand. His clothes were supposed to expand into an overly-fluffy sheep costume to stop him from being able to chase me, but to my surprise nothing happened.

"Ow," he said, rubbing his head.

Despite the first step of my plan failing miserably, I didn't waste any time. I turned and ran. 

"Hey!" he called after me. I could hear his footsteps behind me. More than one pair. It took only a few seconds for him to catch up to me. He grabbed my foot, so I fell onto my hands. My wand fell next to me and he quickly grabbed it.

"No toys for you, missy!"

I threw my head back, right into his nose.

"Ow! You little-"

I turned and threw a punch. He caught my fist, then held my arms down with two hands while two others slipped the wand into his pocket. Then, he hoisted me onto his back. He'd shapeshifted into some monstrosity, like a really tall human-horse hybrid with a sticky back that made me feel like a bug stuck to fly paper.

"I've dealt with a lot of bratty children, but that may have been one of the worst temper tantrums I've had to deal with yet!" he laughed.

With his several elongated legs, we quickly arrived at the station. He changed back into his human form before pulling me through the door. Strangely enough, the place was empty. At least I assumed it was, but with the power still being out it was pretty dark in there. For all I know something could've been lurking in the shadows, watching us. 

There were only two things that had changed since my last visit. One, a low buzz like that of a bee in slow motion was coming from somewhere within the store. Two, someone must've eaten a ton of candy and then ripped a giant fart because the store smelled like a giant sweet fart.

"We're here!" the guy called.

"Send her in and guard the door," a muffled voice, much like any other [Y/N] clone's voice, replied.

The guy, holding one giant claw to my back, led me to the bathroom door. The smell got stronger the closer I got to the door. I looked at Josef with pleading eyes. I had been prepared to face any clone or doppelganger, but nothing had prepared me for walking in on them mid-shit. He only grinned, took a step back and motioned for me to get inside (or else).

"You don't need help opening the door, do you?" 

What an ass.