What I Learned In L.A. (Sequel to What I learned at Hope Springs)

HELP

Chris

Britt Bratt and me were in the studio. I was painting and she was singing and writing. This is what we did though, since everything happened this is how we bonded, through our art. She looked up from her pen and pad, "That's creepy as fuck." she said with a light giggle. I didn't mind though all my pictures looked like this and she knew it. "What if I told you it was you." She burst into a fit of laughter. "Nigga you tried it." she said throwing her pencil at me.

"You think Mikey and Jasmine will be cool today since we not there?" "They should." I answered. We never missed work but Mike and Jasmine thought that we should take a few days off just so we could calm down and get some emotions out. I rested on the floor staring at the wall there was a blank spot that needed to filled in. I had already drawn some faces as usual I decided to draw a gravestone then a gun. I spray painted it once I was done and stood back and looked at it. "What you think?" I asked Brittany. She stared at for a while then looked at me like she didn't know what to say.

"come on, tell me, be honest?" I said wiping my hands off with my towel. "You okay with that section, I mean we just went through that a few days ago." she said. I was okay with it, I mean as far as it being on the wall, I don't know if I was okay with the situation. "You think I'm crazy?" She walked over to me and sat next to me in front of the wall, we both stared at it. "I don't think you're crazy, I think you're hurting much like I used to hurt." She said. 'What I, or anybody else thinks shouldn't matter, it should matter what you think about yourself, what your baby think when it gets here."

I sighed, she was right, I really need to talk to someone about this. "If I made an appointment with my psychiatrist would you come with me?" I asked her. "Of course I will sweetie." she said knudging me. "Thanks Britt." I said tapping her thigh.

Brittany

I'm glad Chris was gonna get some help. Lord knows that he needed it. Come to think of it I should think about seeing a counselor or something myself since I never really got the help I needed after all these years. I haven't talked to my mom in like a year. I been holding so much animosity, and to keep Micheal happy I've been holding in so many feelings even though I always have the urge to cut. Chris was upstairs taking a nap and I had cleaned the sudio up and moved into the living room. I grabbed my laptop and started googling numbers for Counselors in the area. I wouldn't tell anyone just yet that I was doing this.

I found a few numbers and called them. They asked me questions about how I was feeling and what I needed help with, my work life, social life. After more questions I was recommeneded to two in my area. One was a male and the other was female, I really wasn't comfortable with speaking with a male so i just picked the woman. When I got that out of the way I decided to call my mom. "Hello." a man answered the phone. "I'm sorry I might have the wrong number." I said cause the voice sounded familiar but I knew that could just be a coincidnce. "Well hey baby girl." My heart just dropped and I hung up the phone. Why the hell was he there, and where was my mother?

I started pacing around the house, that familiar urge for me to cut kept hitting me. Tears started to fall down my face. I ran upstairs to our bathroom knowing that we had no razors, I went in the guest bathroom in the room where Chris was sleeping. I was slamming cabinets and drawers hoping that I would find something. I came aross and shaving razor, I broke that to have access to the razor that was attached. "Britt Bratt, what's up?" I heard Chris' groggy voice ask. I wasn't trying to talk right now, I needed to do this.

I pressed the metal to my skin and dragged it across, a feeling of euphoria spread throughout my body once I saw the blood flow. I guess this is what crackheads feel like once they get a hit. I felt so relaxed. I made several more small incisions. "The hell you doing Brittany?!" Chris yelled snatching the broken top from the shaving razor out of my hand. "Why you doing this man? You was just straight!" I burst into more tears. "I called my mom, Ricky answered her fucking phone! Why is he there!" "Look, calm down okay." I couldn't do anything but cry, I was so hurt.