While he was sleeping | l.s.

January 16th part 2 | "Its getting a bit colder"

January 16th (Later that day)

It is now 11pm and we have just eaten our pizza, I am now sitting in my favorite chair writing about today. So, Where to begin? Niall picked out his new shoes and they are very nice, if I may say so myself:) They are brown because that is what he wanted, and he also bought Vans on my recommendation (of course)

Harry asked if I could buy some shoes for him to, because I was there anyway. But at that moment I had completely forgotten about it. So I gave him my old white Vans when i got home, they are one size too small for him, but he has already used them. (Hahaha it was actually as a joke but I don't know if he noticed that, ow well he can keep them now).

Also, after dinner Harry and I went for a walk through the park. (like an hour ago)
We talked about the funny things Niall and I have said about Harry when he wasn't around. Harry had brought a soccer ball to the park, so we played some on the field next to the park.

First we did a crossbar challenge (which of course I won) and then we kicked the ball around for a bit. He also explained me a new game that he used to do with his family at parties or just when they were together at a family gathering. It was kind of like who scores is goal keeper. It was really fun to see him like that, all fanatic and happy. That makes me feel so good! Ugh I sound like a wimp, I am not at all! When we were bit tired we located on the field and looked at the rising stars. But when it was almost dark the funniest thing ever happened....

Believe it or not but at that moment suddenly the sprinklers started to turn on. We couldn't escape, The moon light made the water drops look like little falling stars, falling on us. We got into the biggest laughter, we accepted the fact that we were getting soaked. we had quickly given up. After a while of running through the sprinklers en dancing to some songs that came out of our phone speakers. (which luckily didn't break because of the water) After a while Harry began to lay on the grass, for a brief second he watched me playback some old songs and made fun of how i didn't wanna lay on the grass because it would make my pants dirty... After i saw they were already covered in dirt and mud, i joined Harry on the ground.

When I wanted to lay down next to him he stood up and looked me in the eyes.

I saw a drop of water on his face, i couldn't tell if it was a tear or just a drop of water from the sprinklers,we just danced trough, and if it was a tear... could it be a sad tear?

he suddenly started mumbling (he never mutters normally he know exactly what to say)

i was confused and i got scared for a second, Did i SAY something wrong? did i DO something wrong? everything go's trough you're head at that moment...

But he spoke with a few words:

"Lou? Please tell me you feel that too!"

"Fe- feel what Haz?" i stumbled

"the way we speak to each other, the way we make each other laugh and the-" suddenly he stopped talking

"the- what?"

"The- what Haz?" I said again

"I just know i'm going to ruin it after this." Harry said

"ruin what? Please Harry complete you're sentences!"

"I cant Louis it will ruin our friendship"

"Friendship? So we are just friends?" i said a little broken

"aren't we?" he

It was silent for a few seconds when suddenly the sprinklers turned off. The little falling stars fell down and the moment was gone, there, all gone. the wet grass was shining from the lanterns that were pointed towards the field.

"umm yea we are" (i smile sarcastically, because i didn't want him to know that i was almost in tears. words hurt. i- i really thought...)

i continued with "its getting a bit colder should we go inside?"

"yea sure ill make some tea, we also have some left over pizza" was how he responded

So yes there we are now...

On my favorite chair with a cup of tea. I'm really scared I've ruined it, ruined it all. it was the perfect time to say how I felt, how i felt since from the moment i met him. i could've told him i loved him more than i would love anyone else. i could've kissed him... i could've kissed him.

(while typing this a tear left my eyes, weird, i haven't cried since... since? i can't even remember.)

but no. I just said i was cold? how could i be so stupid? but it was him that made the mistake, he said FRIENDSHIP. that word, such an easy word. i used allot in my life. Why did that stupid word hurt so much? maybe the person? maybe...

suddenly Harry came up to me and asked me were the television remote was. it was behind the pillow next to me, when i was grabbing the pillow i wiped my tear in the same motion. in the hope he wouldn't see it. and luckily... he didn't.

But since we came back home he acted weird too. a bit distant. do you think its because of the same conversation? probably because his new trainers got dirty (i even warned him, but he didn't listen...) I don't know.

When we were walking back home he did talk about tomorrow's schedule. And about Zayn who had apparently stopped by in the afternoon. Could he have told Zayn things about me? Is that maybe the reason he brought up that whole feeling thing?

I hope he didn't say any wrong things about me. What am i actually saying? I don't even know if they have talked about me, let alone us...

"OUCH"

This tea is hot wow, sorry I didn't expect it to still be this hot.

O sh*t completely forgot! (suddenly i remember something) I had promised to watch f.r.i.e.n.d.s with Harry. (not a big fan of the series tho) But for Harry I'll make an exception. I think I'll do that in a moment... Hopefully he won't fall asleep while I'm finishing this, otherwise we can watch the series tomorrow. Wait let me check.

Also who am I saying this to? I'm constantly asking question to no one. I am writing this myself so no one has to wait. I really am acting like I am talking to a person. Maybe this is my typing style... it does feel nice.

It feels like I am not alone.

That sounds sad but it's nice to share all my stories with my computer, even if he doesn't talk back! (If it would talk back, it would be pretty weird) anyways....

(seconds later) I went to check on Harry, I also picked up one of those cookies Harry had made this morning. He told me that we could watch the series later on. And was immediately more cheerful. So I think I'll leave it at that. I'll talk to you, I mean... I'll write when I can....

Bye xx