Muse [18+] • REVISING

29 | Irony

"Please..." I shake my head, keeping my distance from him.

"I realize I should've told you earlier, I know that," he begins to unravel and I'm listening. "I just couldn't bring myself to say the words. All I wanted was to be selfish with you and so I did, I greedily held onto you as long as I could until—"

"Until you got what you wanted and mustered enough strength to finally leave?" I interrupt him for the second time tonight and he doesn't get mad at me for doing so. I almost wish he did as it feels like he has given up.

"No," he immediately tries to reject my interrogation. "I swear to you, I would never, never, use you like that. I..." He doesn't finish his thought.

"You what? Why do you always shut down like this and never tell me what's going on?" I realize my voice gets louder as there's a slight echo throughout the house.

Once again, he stays silent and I move from one stage to the next—anger.

"You're supposed to be honest with me. I mean, isn't that what you're always going on about? Telling me my word is my most important tool and the only way we're going to work is if we communicate? Does anything you say even apply to you?" I continue to question him and it feels like I'm talking to a wall.

"I know you're upset and if I could change the outcome of any of this, I would do it in a heartbeat but I can't, Vera, I can't." He stands up from his seat and begins to slowly pace across from me. "If I could tell you how sorry I am a million times over—"

"Stop doing that! Stop trying to beat around the bush as you do and just tell me what's going on! I deserve the bare minimum at least," My voice cracks and I turn away from him for a moment to collect myself.

"Vera, I'm getting fired! That's all there is to it! The museum has decided to let me go because they decided they just didn't want me anymore! I'm moving to Italy after I visit my mother, I've already booked the ticket...and this house, you can keep staying here if you want, in fact, you can keep it but—"

"But you're not coming back," I fill in the words for him.

"How long have you known?"

"Over a month," he answers and it's the only thing I don't question out of his mouth so far. "They just wanted to wait until I finalized any projects that I was in charge of,"

I think about the exhibit we had been working on and how the opening for it was happening a few weeks from now. How I spent late nights with him creating a dream, completely unaware that he wasn't planning on seeing the whole thing through.

"Were you just not going to tell me? Were you just going to leave one day and think that it'd be okay?" I couldn't make sense of how everything became undone in the span of an hour.

"I was going to tell you, I just couldn't find the right time! You were dealing with your own problems and I wasn't going to add to it! How could I tell you that things weren't doing so good for me when you were crying yourself to sleep every night on that couch?"

I pause and turn my head to look at him. His expression held worry and for a moment, I felt like this was my fault.

"I still would've been there for you..." I tried to fix it but parts of me were still red and I just couldn't bring myself to hear him out.

I face away from him again until I feel his hand on my shoulder a few seconds later, causing me to flinch at his touch and pull away.

"Stop," I barely let out and wrap my arms around my waist. He doesn't push any further. "You just don't get it, do you?"