Only Angel 2 [h.s] AU

Beauty is pain

I raise my eyebrows and Harry looks in disbelief. "I'm going to kill him." He mumbles underneath his breath. Elija walks towards us, a drink in his hand and a grin on his lips. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Throwing you a surprise birthday party," he says matter of factly. "The big thirty-one. How's it feel to be old?"

"My birthday isn't until Tuesday." Harry states and I realize I haven't asked about his birthday before, I mean not like he'd tell me.

"Just relax, enjoy yourself. The sex can wait until later." I look at him in annoyance and so does Harry. "Why don't you go grab yourself a drink?" Elija says as he pushes Harry out of the way. He grabs my wrist and drags me towards the other end of the casino and I furrow my eyebrows.

"What are you—"

"How much do you value your life?" He asks me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

"Are you and my brother dating?" Why is he asking me so many questions? Are we even dating?

"I don't know," I say honestly. "Why?"

Elija looks around before he looks back to me. "Harry is incapable of dating someone. Whatever feelings he may think he has is nothing but pure obsession, and that often times results in something... dangerous for the person."

I shake my head. I was confused as to why he was telling me this. "Are you drunk?"

"No." He glares. "What I'm trying to say is—"

"I hate to spoil the fun," Harry is now behind him, eyeing him suspiciously. "But I think we're going to leave."

"You just got here." Elija points out. "Come on, let's do a few shots."

"No," Harry says. "You enjoy, I have an early day tomorrow." Harry grabs the small of my back, Elija watches. Harry and I walk away towards the door and leave. 'Whatever feelings he may think he has is nothing but pure obsession' what did he mean by that? And why was he so secretive about it?

"Where are we going?" I ask, strapping my seatbelt on. When I turn, Harry is looking ahead of him still not turning on the car. "Harry?"

"What was Elija telling you?" He asks and I look away.

I didn't know what he was even talking about, so I really didn't know what to tell him. I blow out air. "Nothing, really." I say, it sounded like drunk babble to me. "I think he was drunk or on something. To tell you the truth, I don't think your brother likes me all that much." I admit and he nods.

The car ride back to his apartment is silent, but not an awkward silence more like a relaxed silence, one where you can just lay your head back and watch the lights pass by you in a quick blur. I fell asleep halfway though the car ride and when I woke up, we were already in his parking space. Harry helps me out and we take the elevator to his floor, thankful that I didn't have to walk so much.

My heels were killing me, but they sure looked good doing so.

Once inside, I walk towards the couch and sit. As I'm raising my foot to remove my heel, I groan in pain and Harry turns to me. "Alright?" He asks and notices how I struggle with the clasp of the heel. He walks towards me and sits on the coffee table. He places my ankle on his lap and carefully removes my heel, he does the same for the other one. "Why do you hurt yourself involuntarily like this?" He questions.

I rest my head on the couch as I stare at him. "Beauty is pain," I say with a small smile. Harry stares at me for a moment as if he's taking in my facial features for the very first time before he looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.

He gently massages my aching feet, his fingers working their way in an experienced patterned that let him know it would make me feel good. And it did, I allowed myself to bask into the feeling, to allow him to make me feel good and in a non sexual way. This made me think that he cared about me in a caring way and not wether I got to cum or not. I don't know what the hell Elija was on about, but he is wrong.

"I'm going to run you a bath." Harry then says, gently setting my feet down. He kisses my forehead and walks away. Soon, I hear the sound of the bath running in the bedroom. I take this as my time to remove my makeup with my makeup wipes and slip off my dress along with my panties. I remove any jewelry I have and walk towards the bathroom where Harry was shutting off the now full tub.

When he sees me, the white dress shirt was rolled at his elbows. He sticks his hand out to me and helps me inside. The water was warm and it burned my skin just the right amount without it being too hot. I felt myself relax as I sink in the water. When I turn to Harry, he is on the floor, his arms were resting over the brim of the tub and he had his head resting on them as he watched me.

"Join me?" I ask, hoping he says yes. He looked quiet, more than usual. I could tell something bothered him or was bothering him and I couldn't pin point exactly what it was. He begins to remove his clothes down to his boxers and gets in the tub, his back to the other end as we sit facing each other. I'm glad the tub was big enough to allow me to move around. I crawl to him and he stares. I run my hands through his curls as I sit on his lap, he hums. "What's the matter?"

Harry doesn't answer at first, he simply brings his hands up to my hair, reaches behind him and turns on the shower so that we are being engulfed in the water. He pushes hair away from my face as the water falls on us like rain. "I'm unhappy." He admits. "And lonely." I furrow my eyebrows as I push curls away from his forehead. "And it isn't about you. You are probably the only thing in my life that is bringing me happiness. But that's just it. When I'm not with you I'm back to feeling lonely and unhappy."

I shake my head. "Why do you feel this way?"

Harry sighs. "I can't tell you."

"Yes you can," I say. "Please don't ever feel like you can't talk to me."

At this, Harry looks up, the water trickles down his face and past his tattoos before he looks to me again. "The whole purpose of the playroom was to help me avoid feeling this way." He begins. "Anytime I would fall back into that dark spiral, I'd use it. I'd take every feeling out on my submissive, and I could because I had full control. The way I deal with pain is by giving it back." I pay attention to what he says. I know by being with me he was giving up control, I could help but feel guilty for him feeling the way that he did. "Without it I just feel... like this."

I look away, the water was overflowing from the tub and with our slight movements it was falling out. "I don't want you to feel this way," I say. "I want you to be happy all the time and for you to know that you aren't alone because you have me," I grab his face and make him look at me. "I love you."

His eyes appeared watery and he pushes me in by my waist in a tight hug. He hides his face on the crook of my neck and I hold him tightly. It pained me to know that he felt this way, I didn't like the fact that I was his only source of happiness. I wanted him to be happy every time wether I was around or not.

We shower and he allows me to help him. I gently massage the shampoo in his hair as he rubbed the body wash on my body. His fingers giving my back a small massage. It was once again, not sexual and I adored being this way with him. He was so gentle and almost fell asleep as I ran the shower head through his curls. After we're done we sit on the bed, dry. Harry sits behind me with the hairbrush and gently brushes my hair.

I watch him through the mirror and he looked so focused as he ran the brush through my hair. Once it was time for bed, he rolls over and hands me something in my hand, he kisses me and turns around so that his back is to me.

When I look down, it's the lipstick. He wants me to write it. So I do. I then set it aside and wrap my arms around his waist and fall asleep.