Numb L.S.

chapter 9

"You were what?!" Louis yells, and I flinch. I nod and look down, disgusted with myself. Tears well up in my eyes quickly. "Why the fuck didn't you tell anyone Harry?! We could've helped you!" He yells again. "I'm too far gone for someone to help me Lou. I'm hopeless." I say quietly.

"Babe, You aren't hopeless! Please let me help you. And if not me, then someone else?" He asks. I shake my head. "I can't Lou. No one can know how disgusting I am. Please get out. I need to be alone."

"Harry we need to to talk about this! We need to get you help before something bad happ-"

"No, Louis! Something bad already happened! You can't fix me! No one can! Now get the fuck out of my room please!" I yell, not really wanting him too. He shakes his head, exasperated, and walks out. I lay down and scream into my pillow. I finally got him and I ruined it. Like always. Why do I fuck up so much? Why am I like this? Why can't I get better?

//major time skip again 1 month//

//Thirdperson//

Everything got worse for Harry since then. He rarely ever eats now. Louis told the other boys what was wrong with Harry. He told them that he was raped and that he was anorexic. He told all of Harry's secrets. All the boys began to avoid Harry. Even Louis. They figured maybe thats what he needed to get better. But they were wrong. That's all Harry wanted, was for someone to talk to him. To love him.

But it never happened. The boys went on break from tour and Harry thought it would be the best time to go. To leave. he didn't want to be here anymore.

That night Harry weighed in at 114. He hadn't even lost 10 pounds in a month. That week was the worst for him. He cried himself to sleep every night and wouldn't answer any phone calls to anyone, including his mum and Louis. He pretty much disappeared for a week.

Everyone stopped trying to get ahold of him, after many failed attempts at calling and knocking on doors. Harry just didn't want to see anyone. Ever.

On the night of October 12th 2015, (a/n: oh god I probably fucked the years up but oh well) Harry Edward Styles committed suicide. He left 4 notes. One too Niall, Liam, and Zayn, one too his mother and Gemma, one too the fans, and lastly, one too Louis.

Harry wasn't thinking about how much it could effect the fans or his friends and family. He just didn't. He just wanted to die.

Harry couldn't deal with the fact that he had an eating disorder and that he had been raped. It was all too much for the 21 year old.

No one found his body until the morning of October 14th.

The boys had decided they should go check on him and bring him too lunch. Little did they know he was already gone.

Louis walked in first and was terrified because the house was so very silent. He ran upstairs and screamed at what he saw. Harry's lifeless and pale body lay on his bed, empty pill bottles next to him.

Louis screamed and screamed but he didn't wake up. He won't. He's dead. Louis wished he had been there for him, but he wasn't. He was too late.

And now he felt numb.