( 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄-𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐃 ) 𝐍𝐈-𝐊𝐈

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄

CHAPTER NINE

       SLEEP DIDN'T COME AS EASILY THE NIGHT AFTER.

       I laid on my bed, eyes trained on the dark ceiling for what felt like hours and I couldn't feel a single ounce of sleepiness to fall over my body. I felt this strong sense of lassitude—body weighing heavily and each time I moved, I felt my bones pull. I would simply blink and close my eyes, staying in this state of attentiveness and never really drifting off to deep slumber.

       This went on for a week.

       I was becoming restless with the multiple musings grappling inside the space of my worn-out, (seemingly) battered brain. I knew that I shouldn't allow myself to prolong this feeling of long, hanging disappointment. It dangled on the surface of my mind, screaming to me of the same scenario that occurred in which I regretted. And although my harsh words were true, I still couldn't push away this guilt that clawed at my being.

       It was not that he didn't deserve to hear such words—I knew deep inside that I was just much too blunt and honest to be considered polite, and he was just much more emotional that what I could ever be. But perhaps, I should not have said it with such a hard tone and shouldn't have made it seem as if he was the cause of those unfortunate events to happen to me.

       So, I decided to go and apologize.

...

       "Nishimu-" I paused my words as I stood by the doorway of his classroom. He was alone inside, sitting on his assigned seat instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria. His head was dipped down slightly and he appeared as if he was reading his notebook. I grimaced before correcting myself, "Ni-Ki, pardon me. Listen, I would just like-"

       "I want to be alone."

       I clamped my mouth shut, my eyes turning wide and I took a step back. His face painted serious and his eyes were anything but welcoming when he stared right at me. I was never one to feel intimidated, but I instantly felt unnerved at the way he looked at me—his brows were slightly narrowed causing his eyes to look smaller and piercing whilst his lips were pulled to a thin line.

       I gulped the saliva building inside my mouth and carefully tried to continue, all while trying to stay composed.

       "I have this Taiyaki that you said that you liked to eat." I pushed on, although as I continued to look at him, he didn't seem to look impressed. I sighed and continued, "Plea-"

       He narrows his eyes and shuts his book, standing up to walk towards me. I took another step back when he stops in front of where I stood, his taller figure didn't help the way my heart raced almost a little too painfully. He took the Taiyaki from my hand and proceeds to eat it, although his dark eyes never moved away from mine.

       "Ni-Ki."

       He swallowed the first bite and started, "Do you know how friendships work?"

       I breathed out a shaky sigh and responded quietly, "Not really. I don't have a familiar grasp of it unlike others."

       He nods and continued, "Well let me tell you this," He pauses for a moment, looking p at the ceiling before saying, "Your friends are here to stay by your side if ever you're feeling down. I wasn't forcing you to tell me anything, but it would have been better if you could have at least let me help you. You can't accomplish everything on your own you know?"

       I nodded my head as he explained, trying to piece together his words with my own understandings and the principles that I held on to. The first thing that I taught myself was to learn how to do things on my own because I could never be too sure if I depended on others. It was not like they were going to stay by my side as I grow older.

       I held this strong mindset, or this saying, 'By the end of the day, you only have yourself' and a part of it could be true. Perhaps it would be if I decided to allow myself to continue being alone, and I didn't see anything wrong with that. But maybe, the burden on my shoulders could have been lighter if I had someone to lean on every once in a while.

       There was nothing wrong with wanting to be alone but then, there are benefits of having someone by your side as well. It wouldn't hurt to take that into consideration.

       "I guess that's true." I mumble and lifted my head up to look at him, watching as he ate the fish-shaped desert and continued, "Listen, Nishimu— Ni-Ki. I apologize for being rude and continuously cutting you off while you tried to speak. You certainly didn't deserve to shoulder the impact of my bad mood."

       A short smile plays on his lips and the heaviness that lay on my shoulders dispersed in an instant.

       He nods his head, "It's all right, I forgive you. But next time, you gotta let me help you too, you know? I am your friend after all."

       "Okay, I'll try."

       Right after I uttered my words, his small smile eventually contorts to a subtle smirk, his cheeky eyes making itself known once again as he gazes down. I simply froze, waiting for him to tell me about his thoughts that I could not read. Although, I had an idea that it was something related to me from how he directed all his attention to my face whilst his finished up the Taiyaki.

       A snicker escapes from his lips and he slowly began, "This taste good. Where did you buy it?"

       I quirked my brow at his strange actions and answered, "From the store near where I live."

       He nods his head slowly and responds, "Okay..." His expression remains the same, and finally he says, "So... are you going to call me 'Ni-Ki' from now on or was it just to guilt-trip me?"

       "Please be quiet, Nishimura-san."

       "Just call me 'Ni-Ki', for god's sakes! We've been friends for three months now!" He groans, throwing his head back in annoyance.

       "Okay, alright. Perhaps I can call you 'Ni-Ki'." I shrug and looked at him blankly, "Since it would be rude if I didn't do so; I guess you can call me by my first name as well."

       "Without honorifics?" He cocks his head hopefully.

       "Don't push it."

sorry for any typos :> it's
one am here owo