Fighting For What's Missing

33.

"Why the hell didn't you start with this?" I snarl at Charlie and Josephine. Now that she's not keeping a secret, she seems nice and stable. I glance back at my truck. Agnes had jumped in the passenger seat and is now drumming her fingers excitedly on the dashboard. We've been driving for a while now, looking at houses and apartments and even condos, I'm just glad to see she's still up and moving.

Charlie groans. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. A few people were murdered in it."

"What?!"

"Only three."

"How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel better?!"

Agnes

I don't understand why William looks upset, the house nice and looks promising, what's the problem? Peering out the windshield, I see Will shake his head at Charlie and Josephine then walk over to me. I roll down my window. "What is it?" I ask, and he groans softly, pressing his hand on the car and leaning onto it. "It's okay that we didn't find a place. Maybe we can look online next time."

He chuckles. "What do you think? From just looking at it, what do you think?"

I quickly glance back at the house. "It looks nice from the outside. William, what is it?"

"Agnes," he stares deeply into my eyes, grabbing my full attention. "Something bad happened in that house. People...died in that house, Agnes. And I need to know how you feel about it. Would you feel comfortable living there?"

"I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" He stares at me with worried eyes.

"I mean, if we like it then it'll be our place then it won't matter anymore because it's ours. We can give it new memories."

He smiles brightly, patting the car door. "I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too."

*******

I can't get over how great this place is. William and I have already decided we want the place, now he's talking to Josephine while Charlie and I wait outside in William's truck. I can already see William and I living together. Robbie and Tisha can come over. Tisha can help me planet flowers, I can help Robbie with the bike Tisha have him and we can teach William how to play The Daruma Doll Fall Over. It'll be...us, my new family and that's all I want. I hope William won't mind Tisha coming over.

Charlie opening the car door yanks me out of my wishful thinking. I peer around the seat and see William walking over. He nods at Charlie and quickly says goodbye. Charlie looks back and waves at me.

"Bye Charlie!" I yell, causing both men to laugh.

William double checks my seatbelt. "It's going to take a while," he tells me, "but it's our place."

"Can I get a sofa bed? But the chair one so it's a twin-size bed."

"Um...why?"

"It's more space."

"Smart. I'll see what I can do about it." He plants a kiss on the top of my head then shuts the car door.

William

We didn't get back to Tisha's until ten at night. Agnes is passed out in the back seat, and she looks so peaceful, I don't want to wake her. So I turn off the lights and the car and wait. It must've been the movement of the car that put and kept Agnes asleep because, after a few minutes, she's stirring in her sleep. I climb out of my truck, jog around and slowly open Agnes' door.

"I'm up," she yawns, reaching for me, her eyes barely open. I swiftly dodge her arms, unbuckle her seatbelt and pick her up. She takes a deep breath as she snuggles her head into the crook of my neck. "Can you sleep with me tonight?" Her warm breath warms my neck. I step back and softly shut the door.

"Okay." I have to remind myself that Agnes is my kid and it's not odd that we sleep in the same bed. I place my hand on the back of her head as I climb the steps.

"I take...off my brace...tomorrow."

"I remember." I gently knock on the door. I forgot my key. "I can do it myself but I'm still taking you to the doctors to get it checked."

"Okay."

Robbie answers the door, and I press my finger to my lips. His eyes dart to the sleeping Agnes who's passed out again in my arms, and he nods. "How'd it go?" He mouths.

"We got a place."

"Congrats."

I slowly move upstairs, holding Agnes close to me. Lucky for me, my bedroom door is slightly open and I can kick it open. I settle Agnes on the bed and begin to remove her shoes when she drizzly whispers, "I need to take my pill."

"You're sleeping now."

"I'll wake up later."

"Then I'll give you half a pill."

"Wi-"

"Agnes." I hate it-I truly fucking hate using my firm voice with her, but she's not listening. I can't see her face, but I can feel the tension shift. "Please," I say in a sympathetic tone, "just go to sleep."

"Okay."

Agnes nearly woke up again, but I managed to remove her coat. I guess she's sleeping in her jeans again. I kick off my boats and lie down. Agnes instantly curls at my side.

********

The impact of something falling on the bed wakes me, and I jolt up. And so does Agnes. My first thought is she must've jumped on the bed, and being the cranky asshole I am, I want to snap at her, but the sunlight slipping through the curtains provides enough light to see the bags under her eyes. She looks like the definition of exhaustion. "Sorry," she yawns, rubbing her eyes. "I fall over."

I run my hand through my hair. "What do you mean 'fall over?'"

"Dunno," she shrugs. "I was just sitting here and...boom-" her eyes widen as she tosses her arms up and smacks them down with a loud thud sound "-we're both up."

"How long have you been up?"

She shrugs again, glancing around the room. "A few hours."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I ask, and she gives me a duh look. She didn't want to wake me. "Agnes-"

"I'm sorry, but I'm fine, really. I can sleep when we get back from the doctors."

I fish my phone out of my pocket and check the time. "It's only seven. You can sleep for an hour and a half."

"Mm." Her eyelids flutter shut, and she falls forward and crashes next to me.

Guilt washes over me like a drowning wave. "Kid," I breathe, brushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear. I should've set an alarm. I should've stayed up. I should've done something to be there for her. "I'm sorry."