One last show

This is a suicide story. If I told you this was mine would you laugh? No? Thought not. It's funny how you suddenly become a saint once you die. Your teachers ramble on about how you were a student with a promising future ahead of you, the  mean girls in your school claim that they secretly envied you and your family claim you were the best thing in their life and a beautiful young girl. Really, I'm no saint. I'm more of a sinner. I never had a promising future ahead of me unless you count  being a drug dealer, those girls never envied me they treated me like dirt on the bottom of their shoes, and my family? Well they were constantly disappointed in me for drinking and doing drugs . So, yeah, I am definitely no saint.

But Isn't it chilling how one thing can change everything. Like, maybe if your parents met each other a year later and had you then, they wouldn't have needed to give you up for adoption? Yeah, i think about that allot. 

Are you wondering who I am? I'll give you a clue then. I'm that girl that everyone sees but nobody notices. I'm that girl who speaks out loud to hide the pain deep inside me, I'm the girl who everybody talks about but nobody knows and I'm the girl with blue eyes and blond hair who was found hung on a rope tied to a tree in the woods . I am the girl who committed suicide. 

Being honest i gave up on life a while ago. There's a point where you just don't care anymore, every things a beautiful haze, my own personal high.  There's a point where your no longer afraid of the unknown. Your body is swimming trying to reach the surface but every time you try gravity pulls you back down again until you give up and let yourself drown and as your breath runs out of air you no longer feel the bad stuff, just the good. You feel like your floating in the clouds,peacefully. Not a care in the world. 

But before I died I wanted one last thing to be known by, the real me. I wanted one last show for the ride .