A Certain Metamorphosis || Rosalie Hale

Chapter 21 - A Rising Senior

If only she knew that Rosalie was feeling the exact opposite. Rosalie, who was always so sure of herself, was suddenly at a loss at what to do. She could feel Lily pulling away from her, but was powerless to stop it. She tried to spend time with the girl, but she was cold and distant. She seemed to be constantly on edge. Rosalie knew she ruined everything by yelling at the girl, but she saw red. Why didn't she simply go to prom? Well, she knew why she didn't, even if she didn't want to accept it. The only time Rosalie ever saw the girl at peace is when she slept. Most nights she had to stop herself from trying to soothe the girl into sleep when she was clearly overthinking. She sometimes thought maybe she should leave the girl, but she could never bring herself to do it. Rosalie didn't know if she would take the hit if Lily did manage to fall asleep peacefully without her there. She selfishly didn't want to be faced with the knowledge that she was causing the human distress. How a part of her burned to be near the girl at all times. She hated herself for feeling this way. Lily should be free to live her life without being trapped in this timeless loop, but oh wow did she burn when she chose the humans over her. Rosalie, however, was keenly aware of how it felt to have her life be predetermined and set by others. She could swallow her own feelings, her own desires, her own pride for Lilianna's sake. She was the best of them, and Rosalie wasn't going to stand in her way. Even if it broke a part of her in the process.

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School started without much fanfare. Senior year wasn't much different than other years. There was no new excitement to a new year starting when you know exactly what to expect. Lily made the decision to not play volleyball this year, a decision that shocked her family. She had to explain that there was no real point. She wasn't going to be recruited by any schools and it's not like she enjoyed spending time with her teammates. Okay, that wasn't strictly true. Amber was still on the team, but Amber and Becca were always closer. Amber had a new boyfriend anyway. Lily was quite sick of hearing about him. Becca was better, but she had kind of turned into a pothead. Not that Lily minded it, but she couldn't risk it with her family. Emmett had offered to film all of her games to send to schools, but Lily declined. It really wasn't worth it. She also did not really want to tell her family her plans about moving away so soon.

With all the excitement about Bella and Edward, her family was less in tune with her changing behavior. Shockingly enough, it seemed to be Jasper who was the first one to notice. Well, Rosalie was, but Lily wasn't willing to open that can of worms yet. He often offered to stay with her if the family went hunting or would ride with her if she wanted to go into town at night. It was nice. He was there. Lily appreciated it. Her nerves were more at ease, and she could finally feel like she could relax around another person for the first time since her trip. She honestly would not even be mad if she found out he was manipulating her emotions to feel that way. It was such a nice break. He also had the common courtesy to not mention it when she broke down into tears the first time it happened.

Classes were boring. Seniors were known for their lack of work effort and the teachers had no desire to fight against those impulses. Lily thought about trying to find a job in town, but figured it wouldn't be worth the talk around town. It was a well-known fact that the Cullens had money. While there was some talk around the suburban mom community about how often Lily was at Micheal's family's house, it hadn't spread to the entire town yet. A job just might be enough to make it. Her behavior may have not raised a red flag if the other Cullen children had friends outside, but they kept to themselves. Edward choosing to draw Bella into him instead of joining her friends was a prime example of this. She knew it wasn't a good look for her family, but he was too selfish to stop. She, however, wasn't going to add and risk the Cullen's getting a bad reputation around town.

She had elected to eat lunch with her remaining family instead of her friends. The table seemed empty with only Bella, Edward, Alice, and herself. It was nice to just listen to their chatter during lunch. More often than not, she didn't feel hungry during lunch, and got into the habit of giving whatever Esme made to Bella to enjoy. It was a win-win for everyone since Bella didn't have to rely on the gross school food and Lily could lie and say she snacks in earlier periods.

The other reason for her retreat back to her family was the increase of rumors after the disaster date with James. She had naively thought that James would keep his mouth shut about what happened in the car. That was mistake number one. High schoolers are known for being given an inch and taking a mile. Before she could even think, the story going around was that she had moaned out Emmett's name during sex in the back seat of his car and then was kicked out. The story was completely insane, but Lily honestly didn't feel like fighting it. She knew it would only make it worse. The thought of her and Emmett together revolted her, but it had been a common theory before this and she much preferred people believe that than having them guess who else it could have been. And sure, they in no way hooked up, but no one would believe that. James, who had apologized about the situation, had been telling people it wasn't true but no one wanted to believe him either. Lily's respect for Bella grew after she dismissed the few students who asked her for details. She had to admit that Bella was pretty great. She kind of rolled with the punches and she did care for Edward. They were intense and she was wayyyy too into Edward with his quirks, but it worked. She enjoyed having Bella around.

There was part of her that missed her older siblings greatly. Sure Edward and Alice were avoided by the general population, but they were not as intimidating as Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. They were more thought of as weird than threatening. She knew one of them spilled the beans to the rest of her family, but she put on a good show about it not affecting her. Jasper, however, had gone out of his way to take her and Alice to school one day and make a point to glare at a few of the students. Before Lily couldn't even finish thanking him he ruffled her hair and stated, "Us Fields have to stick together, don't we."

The statement made Lily beam the entire day. Jasper had always been more hesitant around her, but that statement was a clear statement of affirmation. Jasper was like the strange distant older brother who tried to relate to you, but something was always kind of off. However, he had been her biggest constant these past few months, and Lily could never repay him for it. He seemed to understand what she was going through and not question things. She just hoped it didn't hurt him when she blew it all up.

T-minus 9 months.

Then forever.

She can do this.

A/N: I know this is a filler chapter, but I wasn't to include a short chapter before starting with more of the plot. I feel like the two books needed a bridge between them. There will be more conversations in the next chapters. Also, would people prefer if I switched to first-person narration? I like writing in third and jumping between characters, but I don't know if that is confusing. Thanks for reading!!