Chapter 12: the end at last

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NOTE: this is the final chapter of this novel, i might think of making a sequel.

The next day, Evan took me out again to the beautiful pelvic lakes, we sat there and watched the beautiful sunny sceneries. I remember that the only beautiful sceneries that i used to see back in the middle east were the sceneries of nature that ive painted. Other than that, we had no beautiful natural places in jordan. I dont get why many tourists come to jordan each year in order to see soma craves stones and mountains (petra). Ive been there about five times, and through all my visits to petra, it was always really hot and sunny and windy at the same time, but not the nice kind of breezy wind. it was the dessert wind filled with lots of sand that always got into my eyes. besides it requires lots of waking just to see some craved mountains. However, i admire the look of the sculpted mountains but i dont see any point in visiting it more than once as the weather and atmosphere aren’t nice at all there.

We also have the dead sea in Jordan which i remember going to a lot. Its a sad reality that it is slowly evaporating and vanishing year by year. I didnt like its atmosphere either. Lots of sand, lots of salt, and lots of sulfuric therapeutical mud. id rather go swimming in a non salted pool than floating in the dead sea.

While I was sitting on a huge smooth rock near the beautiful blue lake, Evan stood and told me to close my eyes, so i did. it was weird of him to ask that! he then made me stand up and guided me to the forest pathway near the lake and told me to open my eyes. i opened them to see each one of Evan's family members holding a poster, and each poster had a different word. As i figured out that the sentence those posters made was (would you marry me my babe?) i jumped in joy, and a smile didnt leave my face when Evan kissed me and put a ring in my finger.

For so long i thought of this day and I had been right, I was still right, I was always right. I had lived my life one way and I I could just as well have lived it another. I had done this and I hadn’t done that. I hadn’t done this thing but I had done another. And so? It was as if I had waited all this time for this moment and for the first light of this dawn to change my life for the better. Nothing, nothing mattered and I knew why. So do you. Throughout my whole absurd life id lived a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across years that were still to come, and as it passed this wind leveled whatever that was offered to me at the time, in years no more real than the ones I’ve been living. What did they matter to me anymore, they never even loved me or cared about my existence, the abused me physically and emotionally. The wondrous peace of the sleeping summer flowed through me like a tide. Then in the dark hour before dawn, bells of joy and laughter blasted. Wardeh Krstavjic became my new name, and this is how I gained freedom!

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 04, 2015 ⏰

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