AFTERGLOW // finnick odair

twelve

"Weapons?"

"Only if you want."

Alivia was offered Peeta's machete and she grabbed it absently. A steamy imprint was making its presence as Alivia held the weapon with sweaty hands. She looked around until her eyes landed on Finnick.

"Whenever you are ready. Just like we practiced." Finnick looked way too pleased, as they circled the area, looking at each other.

"You should try to disarm him," Peeta suggested.

Her eyes fell back on Finnick. He shrugged as if he agreed with the idea. "Don't hold back."

The beat of her heart was so loud it felt like ambience music. It matched her steps and her hits. Every sharp intake of breath made her lungs feel cold. It was an amiable match for the most part, until the pace started to quicken and not even her heart could match the beat.

Finnick expected nothing less than a worthy match. They had learned so much together and not even droplets of sweat in their foreheads would stop them.

They found themselves face to face, panting for air with their weapons in between. With the slide of the machete, Alivia almost admitted defeat as she pushed Finnick back.

"Not bad," Alivia said and caused Finnick to shrug arrogantly. She took his smugness as leverage to not only disarm him, but throw him off. "But not quite there yet."

A recall from their own training days that left Finnick amazed. His lips parted and his pupils were so wide there was only a small ring of green around them. He would go as far to say that Alivia was the only person in that room that could disarm him and, oh, how pleasantly proud he was of that.

A peek was enough to confirm that people were watching. It was a very good thing. Even on the ground, he didn't bother with the possibility of looking weak, his mind only focused on how strong Alivia must appear.

"Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?"

Alivia flushed, stepping backwards. She hated that. She hated the fake flirtation. All of it just to keep his image. Turning her head towards the audience they've accumulated, she noticed Peeta doing a thumbs-up motion to her. Alivia cleared her throat and shook her head.

Walking through a sea of people, Alivia excused herself. She didn't get to see how Katniss kicked Peeta's butt with the trident. She even ignored Johanna's teasing at lunch.

After dinner was over she tried to practice with the flower Peeta recommended, that is, until Finnick plopped on the couch by her side and begged for trouble.

"Alivia–"

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say."

"I heard what you said to Mags. You want to go steal the pudding from the kitchen. I won't be your accomplice. Besides, I'm busy."

"But that dessert was so good," he exclaimed. "I need to have it and I know there's a whole batch down that won't be eaten. We have to go."

"We are not supposed to leave our floors at night."

"Ah, come on. I haven't gotten you in trouble so far. Have I? Don't you remember the fun we had exploring the center the other day?"

Yes, Alivia did remember. It was past eleven and Finnick was poking his head in her room, looking for adventure. He wanted to explore the center but there were guards on the door. One would suppose it was meant to stop them, but Finnick didn't care about that.

She followed, cause what else was she supposed to do?

What happened after was the reason Alivia now looked away every time Finnick asked for something. She had to observe, agape might she add, the way he simply tilted his head to the side and said please to the guards. She could still savor the gasp that escaped her lips in realization. Finnick had done the  exact same thing with her, multiple times.

Now, Finnick was still waiting for an answer. He almost accepted defeat when Alivia crossed her arms. All she had to do was keep her eyes averted from his and focus on her displeasement from earlier in the morning. Her stare was strictly on her arm were swatches of the smashed flower laid. He grabbed her hand softly and led it to his heart.

"Pretty please?"

Alivia sighed.

Twenty minutes later, they sat in her bedroom, eating chocolate pudding straight out of the bowl. The scowl in Alivia's face was smaller, who could be as miserable eating that much chocolate. They were hiding from Mags side by side so they could both reach for the dessert.

"Oh! Look what I've got." Finnick exposed his wrist with a gold bracelet. "I almost forgot Haymitch gave this to me. Apparently I didn't make the best impression today and Katniss is having doubts which I don't get because I was being a total sweetheart, but I guess this is supposed to strengthen the alliance."

Alivia thought and almost asked about this facade he insisted on around the other tributes but her words never made it out of her mouth. She kept them there with a spoon full of chocolate.

"I found out Johanna is in, too."

"Oh, I thought she didn't like Katniss."

Finnick leaned in completely to get more pudding, resting his face on Alivia's arm and not bothering to move again. Her breathing for sure stopped.

"She doesn't, but she hates Snow, so," he popped the spoon into his mouth, "I guess is the lesser of two evils for her."

Spoons twirling around the now empty bowl broke the silence they were resting on.

"What will you miss the most about district 4?"

It was hard to think about it. Now they knew they wouldn't make it back to district 4, even if they won. Their lives belonged to the rebellion and there was only one thing she would miss.

"The sea."

Finnick hummed in agreement, but quickly added, "You know what I won't miss? The stench. Oh my, it's so disgusting."

Alivia chuckled.

"Fishermen are supposed to have stronger stomachs, not anyone can handle the stench. My dad used to tell me this story about this guy who couldn't stop throwing up. Poor thing, it was his first day. I have my suspicions it was actually him."

Finnick looked both disgusted and intrigued.

"What happened to your dad?"

Alivia tightened her lips together for a minute, she should've expected that question.

"They sailed on a thunderstorm. Their boat never made it back."

The silence overpowered Finnick, as it always did when they talked about this kind of stuff.

Heavy topics and too much chocolate made them tired, and soon they both fell asleep. The bowl in between them kept the distance all night until–

Alivia gasped awake.

Her heart was beating so loud it was thumping in her ears. Her body took a minute to follow, still heavy and not responsive. By her side, Finnick slept peacefully. Alivia hadn't noticed she was crying until a few tears danced around her cheek and ended in her ear.

An invisible weight kept pulling her deeper into the mattress. She gripped the sheets and then raised her hands in desperation looking for the blood. Blurry and bare her hands were lit barely by the lamp she insisted on keeping on at night.

Lift this weight off my chest, she chanted in her thoughts.

She tried to get up from the bed but her wobbly legs made her land on the floor. The velvet material on the carpet made her fall soundless but not painless. A whimper escaped her lips and was silenced by Finnick's slumber speech. Resting her forehead on the floor, she thought of the position she had to be in to find out that Finnick talked in his sleep.

She choked up on some tears until her body felt like making a truce.

Not even in her sleep. Alivia couldn't even find peace in her sleep.