How do we move on from this?

7.

Meredith moved round the house quietly, scared to wake Derek, he was sleeping properly for the first time in days. He needed the sleep more then anything. She took a seat at the kitchen table, where she had the photo albums spread out. None of them were opened.

Her hands kept moving to open them but she just couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to do it. The minute she opened them albums she knew it would open another flood gate.

"Mer, what are you doing? It's like 3 o'clock in the morning." Derek's voice broke, as he rubbed at her tired eyes. He walked over and kissed the top of her hand, resting his hands on her shoulders. "Are they Sophie's photo albums?" He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep and I kept tossing and turning, I didn't want to wake you. Then next thing you know I found myself here, with these in front of me. But I can't bring myself to open them." Derek placed his hands on top of hers. 

"We will do it together, alright." Meredith nodded her head and watched as Derek reached for the first album, slowly opening the first pages. "Our first sonogram." Meredith ran her fingers over the scan. "You know right from that moment that she was a girl, like you was set on it." Meredith laughed as her hand found Derek's once again, his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.

They continued to flick slowly through the pages, reliving all the stages of Meredith's pregnancy, right up to the birth of Sophie. Stopping on that page they stared at their first family photo, that was captured by Carolyn.

"That was the happiest day of my life." Derek choked out. "Seeing how strong and brave you was, I feel in love with you even more on that day. She was so small, fresh and new." Derek ran his finger over the photo of the three of them. Sophie was tightly secured in Meredith's arms whilst Derek had his armed wrapped round the both of them and they looked down at their new baby daughter.

"I can't believe she's gone." Meredith voice whispered causing Derek to turn his head towards her. "Like I always expect her to come running through that door and tell me about her day with your mom and dad. She'd get all excited and she'd been bouncing on the spot." Meredith and Derek smiled quickly before letting their smiles fall once again. "I hate this."

"Me too Mer, me too." He kissed the side of her head and pulled her tightly into his side. He watched as she yawned widely and struggled to keep her eyes open. "Come on, let's go up to bed. We can finish looking through these tomorrow but right now, sleep. We both need to sleep." Derek stood first before reaching his hands out to Meredith, pulling her to her feet.

Meredith walked ahead, leaning into Derek's hand that was currently resting on the bottom of her back. Derek turned off the lights as they moved their way up the stairs, until they eventually reached their room. Collapsing into bed, they were drawn into one another's arms. Meredith's head was resting on his chest, running her hand up and down.

"We will get through this Mer. Promise. Me and you, we're a team." He kissed the top of her head quick.

"I love you so much." Meredith's voice faded off as her eyes closed and she finally allowed her body to sleep.

Derek stayed awake, staring at the ceiling. His thought were running wild and his brain wouldn't shut off. Life had done a complete 360 and he wasn't sure how he would get past this feeling of being lost. But then he felt Meredith move next to him, cuddling into his side even more. That's how he would get through this, with the support of his wife and family.

His eyes became heavy and they finally shutting, falling into a deep sleep.

No one said it was going to be easy, it wasn't. There were no books out there that taught you how to deal with grief, you just had to get on with it. Take each day as it comes. One day a time, they would do this.