Red Star (After Breaking Dawn...)

Chapter 4

Jamie's POV 

She left. Finally! This new life was beginning to look up. I smiled  slightly and Rosalie whirled to face me snarling. Esme was sobbing  while everyone else was in shock. Jasper was still upstairs, probably  frozen in the same position I left him in. 

 To be honest, underneath my bursting smugness and joy, I was a tad bit  guilty. This will probably cause Jasper great pain until I figured out  how to make him forget her. I was patient and determined when I set  my mind to something; I didn't stop until I completed my task. As a  newborn into this life, my emotions weren't the most stable. But I  will accomplish my goa- I cut off the thought when more snarls sounded. 

 Barbie and Edward were glaring daggers at me. Esme was still sobbing  into Carlisle's chest. Emmett looked sad but didn't do much but stand  there and shift his weight uncomfortably. Nessie was being hugged  and supported by a rather smelly werewolf that went by the name of  Jacob.  

"Can you be any more inconsiderate?" Edward asked not even attempting to hide the anger in his voice. "Can you be any more inconsiderate towards me?" I hissed back. "Well considering that you ran my sister out of the state and country" Rosalie answered growling menacingly. "FYI I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS LIFE! Her husband decided to ask Carlisle to change me into this killing machine. And to be honest, I don't know why he asked him to!" I shot back narrowing my eyes and flicking my gaze to the stairs as we all heard a crash. 

I acted on impulse and ran up the steps like a bullet out of a gun. I  stopped in front of Jasper and Al- well I guess just Jasper's room  now. "Jasper?" I asked quietly still enjoying the feel of his name on  my lips. I knocked when I didn't get an answer frowning, I slowly  turned the knob that was surprisingly unlocked. Opening the door, I  slowly walked into the dark room that looked to be in plain daylight  through my eyes.  

Everything seemed to be in order, but then my quick gaze noticed the floor near the window. Glass was lying jaggedly on the pink fur rug below it and the window was smashed open letting in a soft breeze. I turned slowly taking in the rest of the pink, purple, blue and white mix matched room. I saw a white covered bed with blue and purple and pink pillows, dark glossed wooden dresser, a small silver wired chair with a pink satin cushion, a white desk covered in various make-up essentials, a large clear mirror, and two grand white doors that I was sure lead to a massive closet. The only thing that was out of place was the figure crouched in a corner between the bed and a small dark wood night table with a purple shaded lamp.

I cautiously walked over to him and examined him with concerning eyes. His golden blonde hair was sticking up around his head in random places. He was hugging his knees to his chest and had his hands in fists. He was leaning against the wall and my eyes quickly flicked up to the two puncture holes through the blue painted wall found four feet above his head. Two cold solid black eyes watched me from behind a curtain of yellow hair.

"Jasper, please say something" I pleaded kneeling down so I was at his eye level. "She's gone" he whispered out a half strangled noise. "Jazz, she chose to leave, don't dwell on it. Accept it Jasper, she left you. She wasn't who you thought she was. Don't waste your life away by sitting here mourning" I told him as gently as I could when speaking of his wife and her stupid and selfish actions. I pulled him into a small supportive hug showing that I was here for him. He whimpered quietly and pushed me away forcefully but gently.

"Jamie, you don't understand" he told me in a voice I was barely able to hear. I sighed but he continued, "Jamie, Alice is my life. My hope and light in this dark and troubling world. She saved me and uncovered the man that was trapped inside of the monster I am when I woke to this new life. My sun, my angel, my savior. I love her undyingly and desperately need her. I have no meaning on this planet, nothing to keep me tied to the thought of life; if she isn't with me then I will loose myself. I will loose who I am and I'll turn into the monster I have been for most of my vampire life" he admitted to me using intense amounts of emotion on certain words to explain the complexity and meaning of them.

I was about to say something when Jasper slowly opened one of his closed fist gazing at a small golden banded diamond ring resting in his palm. I gasped quietly. She took off her wedding ring? I pushed her that far? I thought the whole "goodbye I'm done" act was just that, an act. But this meant she wasn't coming back, ever. A large wave of guilt washed over me and I rested against the wall shrinking down in the intensity of the emotion and I felt a tad regretful as to what I caused.

Jasper's POV 

Life. What did it mean now? Love. I didn't know the definition, even if I had full access into other people's emotions. Light. Didn't hold beauty and I didn't see the difference between darkness and light, there was no difference to me. Purpose. I had none; I was a hollow black hole that simply existed.

No emotion played on my face even thought I felt a hurricane of feeling around me. Her presence brought light and happiness, but without her I was empty. My eyes were almost always black but I had kept up this "vegetarian" diet, she would have wanted me too.

I knew now the cause and core of the pain Edward felt when he left Bella so many years ago. I knew my pain ran deeper and stronger; my bond with her was stronger and more potent than Edward's ties with Bella when she was a human, but I understand his isolation and dead feelings.

I was a dead man, more corpse than vampire, but dead all the same. How could my whole life flash from rainbow to black and white because of one small decision that I couldn't make properly? If only I didn't go through Seattle that night. If only I didn't insist on Carlisle changing the frail human because she looked like my dead little sister. If only I didn't let Jamie get closer. If only, if only, if only I wasn't so reckless, blind and stupid. Maybe if I wasn't so oblivious to the things she was clearly seeing and running from and maybe if I paid attention to the core of her emotions, my soulmate, wife, other half, only love, purpose to live, would still be here.

Alice's POV 

I arrived in Denali not long after noon and I was glad that the sky was mostly cloud. Running another couple minutes I came into view of the grand stone cottage-like house with its green shingled roof and dark stained wood porch.

Explaining my situation to my extended vampire family with quiet sadness and guilt, Carmen and Tanya helped me settle into my temporary room. The Volturi were no longer coming to Forks to endanger my family, instead I had changed my whole future with on excruciatingly painful decision. The day the Volturi were once expected, Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Bella and Nessie came up to Denali to visit me, telling the rest of the family that they were hunting. No matter how short at time, I was exceedingly grateful for their visit even though I badly wanted to see Emmett and Rosalie and another someone that I won't name, this was fine. To keep Jamie and you-know-who out of my future so it'll be less painful on all of our parts, they weren't to know everyone came to see me.

I spent two days with my family but I needed to be on my way so I could finalize my future. I bid my farewells to everyone and Edward caught onto my thoughts understanding and accepting that he wouldn't be able to talk me out of it. After many heartfelt hugs and kisses goodbye for maybe the last time, I headed east towards my almost sure future.