𝔠𝖺𝗋𝗆𝖾𝗇 - 𝐠𝗶𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝐰𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗹𝗲𝘆

fifteen.

MY DORMITORY

Over the past little while, I had really began to question my feelings for Ginny, I'd never felt that way for anyone before.
I couldn't believe I liked girls.
Ginny and I were going on a date today, a real official one, and I think I'm going to break up with her.
I need to clear the Malfoy name before Christmas Holidays, there's no way mother and father would approve of me dating a girl, let alone a Weasley.
I'll admit, I was a little nervous to break up with her, but it'll go fine.
I still want to be with her, but in secret. I like secrets, it'd be something special between us that no one else knew about.
"Draco!" I yell, knocking on his door that was soon opened by my bestfriend. I simply stare in shock at Pansy. "You shagged my brother?" I whispered, Pansy nodded and motioned me in, while slipping out of the room. "Draco, lay off Pansy, will you?" I snap and he continues tinkering with whatever he held, ignoring me. I hit him across the back of the head, he grabs the spot and looks back at me with a malicious look. "I'm breaking up with her today." I said shortly and my brother simply smirked.

-
HOGSMEADE

"Where would you like to go?" Ginny asked me, slipping her hand into mine. I shrugged, dropping her hand.
"Anywhere." I mutter, forcing a small smile. Poor girl has no clue I was about to break up with her.
"Want to just go sit in the woods?" She asked enthusiastically, I nodded and put my hand on the small of her back as we walked.
Ginny was leading where we went to, I went whatever direction she was going until we were far in the forest.
We found a tree that had fallen over and sat ourselves on the log after dusting the snow off, sitting in silence for a few minutes until Ginny grabbed my chin and pulled my face towards hers to kiss.
"Ginny, please-" I began, taking her off of me and Ginny looks at me with confusion, looking a little disappointed. "I actually wanted to talk to you. About us." I say, she simply nods and takes my hand in hers. This time I didn't let go. "I don't want for us to be public just yet-" I'd start and she opened her mouth to protest but before she could I put a hushing finger over her lips. "I'm not ready to tell my parents and even if I don't tell them they'll find out, you know about their connections." I stated, Ginny dropped my hand and pushed me, standing up. She stared me down and I could see tears welling in her eyes, I knew she'd react this way. "Ginny- Ginny!" I say, standing up. I watch her and take in her every feature as she wipes a tear that trickled down her cheek. Did I truly mean that much to her? "I still want to be with you, but not publicly." I assure her, pulling her into my embrace. She placed her hands on my chest as if she wanted to push me away again but didn't, she simply held me close. I worded that quite poorly, I did want to be with her publicly, but it was bad timing, we simply couldn't. "You deserve anyone else, maybe even Potter! But not me, I don't treat you the way I should and I can't give you everything. I'll never be able to, not the way Harry or Dean could, they're boys. You know no matter where you and I go together there will always be someone that won't accept us for being with eachother. I could never give you a whole, fulfilling relationship the way a boy could." I whisper as she grabs my coat, I could hear her cry and I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better. "Ginny?" I ask, placing one of my hands on the back of her head to keep her close. I heard her mutter a 'Yeah?' through her crying. "I still want to see you, but in private. Whenever we can we'll sneak away, I promise we'll still have lots of time together." I assure her, she simply pulled away from me and I wiped her tears. I could feel my eyes beginning to become glossy, not from the cold, but I was honestly, genuinely sad I made her feel this way.
"Will you be seeing anyone else?" She asked, sniffling. She made a point not to make eye contact with me until I grabbed her chin and made sure she did.
"Not unless you are. Ginny, we can still go to vacant locker room after Quidditch, and come to eachothers games, and sneak away to the woods, and you can still come to my dormitory. We can still go to Hogsmeade together and sneak out into the forest, we can still skip class together and whisper sweet nothings. We can still be us, Ginny." I promised and she smiled weakly, shrugging just a little. I took her hands in mine and took a step closer. "What d'you say? We just have to pretend to dislike eachother in public." She shook her head, dropping my hands. I felt myself about to cry and clenched my jaw, not here, not now, and certainly not in front of her.
"I don't want to pretend to dislike you, Carmen." She began and I forced a small smile, that still wasn't a proper answer. "But yes, I'll go through with it." Ginny finally decided hesitantly, I sighed in relief and quickly pulled her into a hug. As I felt her touch I almost instantly had stinging, hot tears sliding down my face. For a moment I thought I'd never get the pleasure to hold her close again. Merlin, was I lucky.