So I sat down for a chat with Judy and it turns out, while she was shot in the head, it was more of a graze. The bullet took out a good chunk of flesh and bone, but she was mainly intact. Unfortunately, the force of the blow knocked her out cold, so I thought she was dead. She told me she woke up a few days later with a splitting headache and hung with Stan the armless mannequin for a little while before she got her strength back, quenching her hunger with rats.
I felt terrible!
Although there was something I couldn’t quite wrap my head around—how did she get the sombrero and poncho on? Or even take her medicine? Oh, well.
I told her all about the healing serum, and what it did to me. By which stage Mr Judd, or should I say Dr Judd (I know how pissy doctors can get when you don’t refer to their proper title) had returned to the lab. He and Judy discussed it and the cure at length in a quiet corner before Dr Judd injected Judy with the serum.
She insisted on being awake for the process, which might I add was not a pretty sight. Have you ever seen a grown woman with baby arms? Cause it’s definitely right up there with the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen! It took at least a week for them to get anywhere near normal size.
We all decided it was best to lock the cure up in a sealed vault on the lab premises. We also kept that tasty morsel of information to those in our tiny group. If it got out that there was a cure, who knows what kind of havoc that would reek. One day we might need it, but for now it was better locked away. I mean, who knows, we might need to cure people just so we can eat them if things got that bad.
Michelle Chen ended up coming in pretty handy too. The petite zombie was definitely a force to be reckoned with. She gave Judy a run for her money, that’s for sure. She rounded up all the errant guards that knew about the cure and even found Bob, that’s right, the guy who shot Judy.
I knocked on her door just after Michelle had brought him in. Still human and still an asshole.
“Come in,” Judy yelled.
“Hey, how are you feeling today,” I asked as I peeked my head through the door.
“Amazing, actually. Who knew growing arms back could feel so damn good. Come sit,” she said as she patted the couch next to her.
I sat down and just looked at her and smiled; I was so excited, I just couldn’t contain it any longer.
“What are you so happy about?” She asked.
“I have a surprise for you, Judy.”
“Oh really, what kind of surprise?”
“The best kind, bring him in,” I yelled.
A second later Michelle appeared at the door with Bob in handcuffs. He also looked to be missing an ear.
“Michelle?” I scolded.
“Sorry, I got a little hungry while we were waiting.” That Michelle, she’s quite the character.
“Well well well, what do we have here?” Judy said, standing up and slowly making her way towards Bob.
“So you do remember him?” I asked.
“Is the Pope a zombie? Of course I remember him!” She started rubbing her newly formed hands together. “This is going to be so much fun!”
“What the... how... you have arms!” To say Judy’s appearance shocked Bob would be an understatement.
“You like?” She lifted her arms up to the light and started stroking them. “You can thank your boss for these. He kindly made a healing serum and now, voilà. Although he can’t take all the credit, it was one of your prisoners that actually came up with the formula in the first place. Murdock really does have a gift for stealing everyone else’s ideas.”
“You’re going to pay for this! You abomination!” He spat.
“On the contrary, I’m going to eat you bit by bit until all that’s left is teeny tiny Bob, if you know what I mean.” She smiled and winked at him. “Then I’m going to feed it to my pet tiger, Thor.”
Bob was suddenly silent after that somewhat graphic description and funnily enough pissed his pants. Poor old Bob had no idea what he was in for.
Michelle and I left them to it after that, and I went off to find Meg. I found her was in the cafeteria chatting to her dad. It was so nice to see them reunited again.
“Toby, my boy. We were just talking about you,” Dr Judd said.
“Oh, really? All good, I hope.”
“Well, I guess that depends on your definition of good. If I was living, it would be pretty disturbing, but as a zombie I’m rather proud of you both. If not for you, Toby, I’d still be rotting in that cell, literally.”
“It was our pleasure, Dr Judd.”
“Please, call me Martin. You are after all dating my daughter, aren’t you?”
“Yes sir, if she’ll have me?”
“Good answer, Toby.”
“Oh dad, stop it,” Meg said, swatting him on the arm.
“Right, I’ll leave you two to it. I told Charlie I’d show him how to blow up a body with just a knife and some wire. And remember, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Dad!”
“All right, all right, I’m going.”
After Martin left, I grabbed Meg by the hand and led her to my room, which was one of the old offices. We had decided to live here all together for the foreseeable future. To protect Pandora’s box and because it had plenty of Room for us all. It was kind of like our own little undead cult commune.
“It’s so nice to be alone again.” Meg said, smiling at me.
“You know, you were beautiful with a bloody hole in your cheek, but nothing compares to seeing that radiant smile covering your entire face. You know you never had to hide from me, but I love that you have your confidence back and I get to look into those beautiful blue orbs of yours.”
“Did you just call my eyes orbs?”
“Yeah, I read it in a book somewhere.”
“Can’t have been a very good one,” she joked.
Watching her laughing and being so carefree, I couldn’t help myself and leaned in for a kiss.
“I really like you, Meg.”
“I really like you too, Toby.”
“It’s a pity we don’t go to school anymore, where I could show you off. You have become so strong and fearless and... “
“And what?” She asked.
“That’s it, I’m a genius!” I announced.
“Ok, you’ve lost me now.”
“Wait here, I’m going to go spread the word.”
“What word? What are you talking about Toby?”
“All in good time, love, all in good time.”
Now where was that costume shop again?
Word count: 1172
Total word count: 19,711
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Diary of a Teenage Zombie || ONC 2021
Humor(Round 3/longlist Ambassador Pick) Open Novella contest 2021 For seventeen-year-old Toby, it's hard enough being a teenager. But then the world went and ended, and he got turned into a member of the undead community. Now his life consists of chasing...
