Past The Mistakes

9 | make me feel at home

I TRIED to convince myself I was being dramatic but It made complete sense.

She didn't want to end things on a bad note so she decided to swing by my house one last time to tie loose ends.

It was the truth that her mother would never approve of her friendship with me. She didn't approve 5 years ago and knowing who Persia Collins is, I wouldn't expect her to change her mind now.

"Layla," My grandfather whispered gently as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I inhaled sharply. I couldn't think.

I needed to think.

"I'll be back," I turned around to mutter to him, my eyes flitting up to his for a moment. He looked a little surprised by my movement but nodded no less.

I ran out the door, my heart shattering as I got farther.

Why didn't she fight for our friendship?

Was I a terrible friend?

I ran into the clearing, surprised when I saw that Kayden was already there, sitting against his basketball tree with a book in his hands. A book? 

My heart sank. I just wanted space. 

Despite my initial annoyance, my heart melted at the sight of Kayden peacefully sitting there reading with his legs bent over towards his chest, supporting his book. He was wearing a red hoodie that was probably designer and was wearing black jeans with his usual Air Force ones.

He was so lucky.

He had everything I didn't have.

He had freedom in the sense that he had the whole world to explore and see.

He had talent and intelligence that I could only wish to have. The way he was able to explain complicated concepts to me with ease.

He had a burden-free, relaxed mind, he had a likable personality... he was living my dream.

What did I have?

My grandfather and this secret pocket of the forest that wasn't even technically mine.

I almost broke down right there and then but Kayden's eyes flitted up to meet my teary, brown ones. I give him a sad smile but my lip trembles. Panic rises in his irises as he throws his book gently to the side and sits up quickly to make his way over to me. With 6 long strides, he was in front of me, pulling me towards his chest without hesitance.

It seemed like no matter what, no matter where I was this is where I always ended up. Crying in Kayden's arms. It was pathetic but it was my reality.

Feeling his arms around me gave me the assurance I needed that I had someone.

I couldn't keep it in; so I cried.

I cried about being punished for a mistake that I didn't even make. I cried for all the friendships I had lost. I cried for all the future friendships and experiences I couldn't have. I cried because I was fucking up with school.

I cried because it was all getting too much for me.

I cried because I was just so lonely.

"Kayden I-" I started to sob through thick tears. Kayden's hand tangled up in my long, brown hair as he pushed me impossibly closer. I sought comfort in his arms, his scent, and his kindness.

"You don't need to explain yourself, I'm right here," He whispers as he then leans his head on the top of mine. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the pathetic tears from falling.