Paradise (MikaYuu)

29

I let out a low, quiet laugh, "Everyone wants ya, huh?" I whispered so even Mikaela wouldn't hear. I won't lie, the situation hurt the deepest part of me. Seeing him was bad enough, but seeing him being completely in love with Mikaela even after knowing, and me not being able to help him until it's already too late hurt so much more. But at this point, I didn't have the right to be angsty. If Yuu knew everything, then he already knew how I felt. He's made no move either way and it doesn't seem like he's planning on leaving blonde Satan anytime soon. My best explanation was that he didn't believe Ray, and I was fine with that. I don't really know what I would do if he really believed, let alone full memory recovery.

I had so many memories of trying to comfort my sobbing husband in the middle of the night and realizing just how truly powerless I was against what Mikaela did to him. I didn't want him to remember that pain, but I also wanted to keep him safe from Mikaela. So for now, the default is just letting him believe whatever he wants.

Yuu said he would introduce me to his old coworker later in the week so I could adjust to her first. Then we would start Mikaela's therapy the following week.

I was instantly alerted to the sound of the door gently swinging open as the tall, blonde, evil incarnate strutted out gracefully, "What are you doing?" He asked, nose crinkled up in disgust at the mere thought I might've touched Yuu.

"I'm just enjoying the view." I smiled softly to the boy behind me, it pissed Mikaela off - which is exactly why I did it.

"Why must you always try and take the good things in my life?" His face had returned to one of neutrality, "Especially when all you do is taint it. You're lucky I care about you."

I hated that. Those half assed remarks he so casually made to make me feel worse about myself. He wasn't as good as being manipulative as he seemed to think. But I didn't care. Him being bad at it made it all the more easy for me not to fall victim. I've known him far too long to fall victim.

I don't know why I didn't do more against him. Oh, wait, I do know. I'm a coward, always have been. Always just a little bitch boy who couldn't do anything for himself. A dependent parasite.

"Yeah, real lucky." I smirked and started fidgeting with hair. Too many nervous habits, too many reasons to be nervous I guess.

It was fucked up. I hated feeling like this and as much as I enjoyed my time with Yuu, I felt like shit pretty much all the time.

I could handle it when it was shit central 24/7, but now that I was having momentarily lapses of actual happiness, it was a lot harder to deal with. How fucked up was that?

Hated Ray, disliked Mikaela, felt virtually nothing about myself, and still loved Yuu. It was shit. Everything was shit. I was so tired. Tired of being pathetic, tired of never being able to line up to Matthew, tired of needing to play dumb.

"Mm, that is what I said." Mikaela always looked so dead, both inside and out. Just a little too pale, glassy and lifeless eyes, low energy.

Yuu rustled behind me, waking up with a small groan.

I guess some things don't change.

Mikaela's attention was snapped to him in instant. And just like that he was raised from the dead. Smiling softly, eyes lighting up, and while he was still low energy, he seemed much more excited.

"Good morning, sunshine," he walked over carefully, like a caged animal, slyly shoving me to the side so Yuu wouldn't notice, "did you sleep well?" He gently stroked his hair. The act of kindness fucking sickened me. The jerk to the world, sweetheart to their girl or in this case, boy, I guess, cliche was wayyyy over used.