CINDERELLA ( A FARCE PLAY)

INTRO

(CINDERELLA is in her broom closet, stage right, complaining about this same old story)

CINDERELLA:

Okay now I just have to wait for the “Fairy Godmother” and then I can cry and weep in her lap and...a yah, yah, yah.....bippity boppety boop, abracadabra, bring in the pumpkin, mice and sparkles. WHATEVER.

(NARRATOR’s voice is heard)

NARRATOR:

But Cinderella, aren’t you happy?

CINDERELLA:

No, I’m not happy! What kind of question is that?! You sir, SHOULD KNOW BETTER! I’ve been complaining to you about this damn story for centuries now!

NARRATOR:

(sigh) I’m sorry Cinderella if this story is not to your liking, but I’ve tried to change it as much as I can-

CINDERELLA:

Yes, yes, yes I know. From the time I was an Asian princess in the Qing dynasty, to a blonde bimbo in...God knows what century, to a Black Brandy in the 1990’s. I know!

NARRATOR:

So, what’s your problem?

(CINDERELLA, walks out of the closet)

CINDERELLA:

The problem MAN, is that I hate this story! I HATE THIS FUCKING STORY! Get it?

NARRATOR:

Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about that.

CINDERELLA:

Here’s what you can do!

(Throws down her apron and bonnet Marches over to her writing desk stage left)

Write me an entirely new story! No mice, no evil step-siblings, or parents for that matter! No sparkles and pumpkins or even music! As for the guy, he can be a prince...or just rich. I don’t care! But no...And I mean no stupid glass slippers! You got it ‘almighty’ (sarcasm).

(Slams paper on the desk, after she finishes writing her ground rules.)

NARRATOR:

Well I’ve never-

CINDERELLA:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, take your feelings and express them to someone who actually cares.

(FAIRY GODMOTHER comes in from the backdoor, upstage left)

FAIRY GODMOTHER:

Cinderella, I’m waiting for my cue line dear! Remember, tears and fears make sparkles!

CINDERELLA:

Sorry, Granny. This story is making a change in scenery and you’re not in it!

END OF SCENE