cuddle with me

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701 word count
✞y/n pov✞
"jesus fuck" i said walking into my house with grocery's in my hands "i thought his name was jesus christ" billie replied walking in the house after me "you know actually he didn't really have a last name they just called him...jesus" i looked at billie with so much confusion "what" i said back to her "you said jesus fuck so i started thinking what is his last name"
she explained to me like she was making any sense
"i- nevermind help me put these away." i asked
"okay angel"
☀︎︎time skip☀︎︎
i looked in the mirror patting my face dry after washing it. i put the towel away on the rack walked to my room going it to my drawers
"what are you looking for sweetheart" billie asked me "my scarf for my hair, i'm about to go to bed" i said as i pulled it out "found it" and i started to put it on.
"cuddle with me my love" she called out to me switching the office to spotify so we can listen to music while falling sleep. i walk over to my side of the bed getting underneath the covers "your so warm" billie said wrapping her hands around my waist. i don't like cuddling and touching but billie loves it we always cuddle with my back towards her so sometimes i can break free, i've never done intentionally it kinda just happens i hate being touched for too long billie calls me a cat cause i only come when i want then leave.
i always overthink that 'am i an asshole', 'she's gonna find someone that is touchy with her', 'why can't you just like touch your so fucking helpless' i felt tears start to well up i tapped billies hand that was around my waist.
"billie... you know i love you right" i tried to sound normal like i wasn't on the verge on breaking down
"yes baby i know, are you okay" she answered back to me "you don't find it annoying when i don't want to be touch i mean for fuck sake your my girlfriend i should like being touch by you" i started to ramble for a bit "i don't find it annoying... sit up and talk to me honey" she said we both sat against the headboard.
"what happened" she asked but i couldn't find my voice something in my head was telling me not to say anything it could make it worst "nothing baby i was just overthinking" i answered trying my best to look sincere "talk to me" billie said with a serious look "please y/n".
few minutes of silence filled the air i was trying to find a way to phrase what i was feeling "i feel like you know...i'm not touchy and your love language is touch and it makes me feel like a bad partner cause i love you i really do but i'm not good at expressing it.  i'm scared your going to find someone else that  recuperate your love language and your going to leave me" i spilled out ranting not noticing the tears flowing out "you just expressed how you love me" she said looking at me with the softest smile "i don't want anyone different baby your perfect and i don't care about someone touchy i want you and only you" she started wiping my tears "but sometimes it hurts like when i need you and you don't know what to do, but whenever you see me upset just a kiss or a hug will help a lot" i started nodding my head to what she saying noting in the back of my head to remember "it's good to bring up issues baby we are in a relationship we need to voice what's wrong so we can talk about and fix it".
"i know i'm just scared you know" i said " i know but i'm always here for you" billie said smiling to me so i feel comfortable "your such a good girlfriend" "i learned from the best" i said back to her we laid back down in bed this time cuddling facing one another.
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(a/n) i want to start a book that has like an enemies to lovers theme with y/n and billie but i don't knowing i should do it. i hope you enjoy reading :)

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