✨ A Little Bit of Magic || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

✨ Chapter Forty Five

"You want to know why I've been avoiding you recently? Well, actually, it's because I thought you were the one who cursed me. It made sense in my head, but looking back I guess it seemed a little dramatic." He chuckled, clenching his left hand into a weak fist. "The psychotic fangirl goes 'if I can't have you, no one can!' And does this. But how you acted- How you were- I found myself not wanting it to be you. Because I did love you, y/n. As a friend."

I bit my tongue, a little embarrassed and confused as to what Zack was saying. "How do you know it wasn't me? I don't even know what... what this is," I frowned, glancing at the necrotic hand. Zack pulled the glove back on, giving me a small smile. It felt weird, but good. Having everything out there, being completely clean. "The week I spent without my best friends was pretty lonely, y/n. But it meant I could do other things, pretty undisturbed. And since Oliver was staying with Norman and Ray, I could keep that stuffy glove off without concerning him. And before what I tell you starts to become dark, I want to talk about our relationship first." He offered me his hand, and I took it, allowing him to pull me upwards. I found myself leaning comfortably on his left shoulder, examining that side profile from up close. He really was perfect. And I wanted to do my best to be the perfect friend for him back. "Everything, Zack. I want to know everything." He took a deep breath, nudging the top of my head with the back of his hand. "Where do I start?" He was warm underneath my cheek, making me feel truly safe- truly comforted. "As you know, Oliver rejected me. Quite harshly too. He called me out for saying such mean things about you, and he said he's only ever seen me as a friend. His exact words was 'You're fucking crazy for thinking otherwise!' I don't think he has a thing against me, or bisexuality. He was just frustrated." "Just like you." I whispered, tracing his right shoulder blade with my pointer finger. The further down I went, the more he trembled. "That tickles, silly," he chuckled, gently grabbing my hand. "Do you watch movies, y/n?" Hm? That's a pretty unrelated question. I rested my chin next to his head, examining his soft gaze fixated on the moonlit floor. I'd always thought of Zack to be down to earth, rational, yet ambitious. I saw him moving onto bigger, better things, being the idol kids wanted to become. Maybe a football star, maybe a professor. Zack could be a doctor, or even a dad. But the boy in front of me right now- he looked sad. He looked scared. He looked like he wanted to disappear, to move on, to see something more than just this life. And somehow, I understood it.

What Zack hated most was not the people who judged him. It was himself, for being able to be judged. It was himself, for being different. It was himself, for caring. "I watched a movie when I got home that night. It was called 'Doukyuusei'. Classmates. Two boys who fell in love. But Oliver and I, we're not like that story. We're not dramatic strangers who met in high school, we're so completely unpolarized, we wouldn't be opposites that attract. Kusakabe read it in a novel once. 'Scapula. That's what's left of our wings'. And it made me think about how high I felt, being with Oliver. And now, now that he knows. Now that I've admitted it- My chest- My heart, it's burning. Constantly. The wings he gave me felt like they've been torn off." I let my hands fall to his lap, his trembling knees telling me all that I had to know. "Then let me help you make new ones. Make your own wings. And in return, help me make mine." I slowly brought my thumb to his cheek, wiping away the single tear he shed. He nodded his head 'yes', pulling me into a tight hug. We just cried, for god knows how long.

What we both needed was someone to understand. Someone who wouldn't judge, or ask questions. We needed each other.

But what differed us, was our pain. Zack was hurt for being himself. And I was hurt because of things out of my jurisdiction. But together, surely we could figure it out. Surely- We could fix each other.