Clato : I'll fight for you

1

"Hi, my names Luna and these two are Aurora and Leo. I've seen you before I work as a teacher in the school I don't think I've ever taught you before though" she says

Her words are soft spoken. Her family is in complete contrast to mine. I look across at my family and see if they make a move to introduce themselves, but they seem preoccupied whispering to eachother about something else. They notice people looking at them expectantly

Mum smiles and her eyes dart around the room "so we have some exciting news" she says

"Very big news" my dad chimes in

"We're moving to the capitol!" Mum says excitedly

The words fall on to me like a ton of bricks. No one moves to the capitol. This is an attempt to isolate me, this is the capitol hating us.

"Oh.. wow that's great" I say not wanting to give the people in the capitol the sarifaction of seeing me defeated

"You could at least pretend to be more excited. Your dads going to be a peacekeeper. And guess what... I'm going to be a teacher! They offered me and Luna the job at the same time."

Cato looks at his mum suddenly

"Are you going to the capitol as well?" He asks

"No" replies Luna "my family's here"

Cato relaxes in his chair, but then his eyes meet mine and a sorry look comes to his face. I don't understand why I'm so sad about my family leaving. Why should I be. But I also wonder why I wasn't as important to them as Cato was important to Luna.

Nimit has filled the silence talking of how great the capitol is going to be for them. But I don't want them in the capitol I want them here with me. I don't even know why my mum wants to be a teacher. She doesn't like kids that much. They only agreed so they can live in the capitol. I wonder if they even considered the fact they'd be leaving me behind, or if they heard the word capitol and instantly lapped it up like thirsty dogs.

Suddenly I don't want to think of them. They clearly didn't think of me. I want to scream at them for being so happy at this munliaplation. The cameras are going I can't react. I can not under any circumstances react, think of something else think, think. They can't take away everyone I love! Yes. They can't take away Cato without outrage. I wonder if any of my anger showed outwardly.

I must've been inside my head for a conversation because people are looking at me expectantly. I shrug my shoulders wondering what at my gesture ment to people who are watching and following the  Conversation. They move on and require little input from me. Which is good, I don't want to talk to them. 

Eventually the mayor rings a small bell by his side almost immediately servers come bustling through the door carrying silver platers for everyone, then placing them infront of us and lifting the lid of the top to reveal a meal grand to district 2, however after experiencing the food in the capitol it seems like scraps. To think we were overall grateful we practically worshiped the capitol for giving us nothing. Everything is making me so mad. I swear I might actually explode.

Nimit picks around the wild cat meat and vegetable assortment on her plate. Just moving it around with her fork. I follow suit, knowing nobody would call me up for it on camera. We've moved off the topic of the capitol which I am definitely happy about. They talk about the party's in the District. This time I listen.

They said the district didn't like the 12 girl from the start and they would Boo her and cheer when Cato and I would come on. There was a massive party when it was announced two victors could come home. They tell us how the whole square went silent when they saw Thresh smash my skull, and that you could hear a pin drop during Thresh and Catos fight. Aurora said the worst part was "the Big big Bang! All the adults got so so grumpy" she's obviously referencing katniss blowing up the supply's. I wonder if she sees Cato differently since she saw him kill. I wonder if Aurora and Leo want to be just like there big brother. The thought sends jitters down my spine. I wouldn't wish the games upon anybody. But I know most the kids here wish for the games themselves.

I'm glad the adults talk more among themselves. Soon the brunch is over, I don't think it was over quick enough. But now another round of torment is about to start. I remember the people gathering outside when we first started going into the building. Just as I suspect as soon as we step out the justice building onto the stage structure cheers erupt.

The people don't wear fancy clothes like the capitol which is a good thing I guess. I stand for a minute unsmiling before Enobaria gives me a shove twords the admiring arms of my district. Immediately I am ambushed with congratulations and people recapping the games excitedly to me like I forgot what happend. The cameras are here so I just smile and thank everybody. I get asked everything: what were the dresses like? How did it feel to kill? Was the capitol as beautiful as they say? Who was your mentor when you learnt to throw knifes? I answer the easy questions honestly. How did it feel to kill? Well that's more of a tricky one. It was great at first but then when you come so near to death yourself every kill feels like your own death. But of course I can't say that.

I've lost sight of my whole Entourage so I decide to take the opportunity to slip through the crowd. It's slow work. I'm stoped for questions and praise about a billion times, well it feels like a billion. Eventually I make it out the thick crowds and am standing in the open so I quickly dive behind a brick wall away from prying eyes.

I don't know where I'm going I just let my feet carry me. I end at the barbed wire gates of the academy. Nobody will be here surely they'll all be partying. The peace keeper briefly acknowledges me as I walk through the gates. There's only one there. I wonder why I came here. But as soon as I step in the building it's familiar. It feels safe, it feels like before the games. Just before the games when I was here sparing with Ness. I still haven't seen her. There's no way the capitol could take her as well. It's weird for them to offer a home in the capitol to anyone from districts, never mind a random 15 year old. Maybe she's 16 now. Yes she is. Her birthdays during the games, I remember we used to pretend the celebration was for her on her day.

I don't want to think of this or anybody else. Is it that selfish to just want to think about myself? My feet have carried me up to the floor where they keep the dummies. It's extremely underwhelming now. A few Woden dummies and crate full of an assortment of wepons. I go in the box and grab three knives. The handles are familiar. I wish I could give up knives. I don't know why I can't let go of them. I throw them all hitting exactly where I want. Like a robot, the movement so ingrained in my muscles.

I go to collect the knives from the wood pulling two from its chest, and one from its head. Exactly where I hit finch. I hold her necklace between my fingers. She was wrong. I can't change anything. And snow is taking everything away from me just because he thought the same as she did. They're both wrong. I have no power. I never did.

I sink to the floor empty. It feels like all the tears in my body have been used up. I just feel numb. I twist the knife handle in my hand leaning against the dummy. I look into the blade. Little and deadly. Like Cato said I was. We really did pick our perfect weapons. I push my finger onto the tip of it and watch blood pool on top of my fingernail. I honestly thought for a second I couldn't bleed anymore. I suck off the blood and pull myself off the floor.

I conceal two knives within my boots so I can still throw when I get home. Surely the one guard won't realise. I move down a room into the gym area. I walk around running my fingers along the weights. Think of all the kids lifting these weights going to die in the games. Even if they come out alive. Pretty much dead.

The doors suddenly burst open and a gaggle of girls walk in sneering. Who even are they. Then the recognition hits me. It's that girl I fought to be in the games. And she's not here to say congratulations.