Words

Desperation

 Amelia waited for him to pick up, hoping he wouldn't ignore her.

"Hello? Amelia? If you're going to bother me again-"

"Ivan. I'm not going to be mean or anything. I got denied again."

"Oh. What was their excuse this time?"

"I'm not human, and therefore not a legal citizen."

"O нет. That's.."

"What you were told when you wanted to be allowed to weigh in on decisions? I know."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is that all you wanted to say to me?"

"Ivan, I'm sad and need comfort. I assumed you would have at least understood how I feel."

"Amelia, I do understand, and it does hurt, I know, but I am busy. Why not speak to your mother or one of your friends?"

"....Because I'm a failure."

"Amelia-"

"It's true. I am. Look at how I turned out, How everything turned out! I am so tired. I can't just tell them that I need help! I don't want to depend on anybody!"

"There's no shame in asking for help-"

"Yes there is. There always is. I don't need help."

"You sound like your mother."

"How dare you say that to me."
They both gently laughed. Not necessarily because it was funny, but because it was true.

"Amelia." His tone shifted, causing her to feel absolute dread again. "You need to give up for once. Please. It worries all of us to see you so desperate."

Her voice quivered as she softly responded "I never give up."
He tried to speak to her, but she hung up. Was it fear? Stress? Anger? Whatever emotion controlled her, It made her feel like she couldn't speak any more. Like it would have choked her to death to say another word.
"Russia," She thought. "Why do you always have to be so blunt?"
Frustration. That's all she could describe this feeling as. It was more rage-oriented, but she was trying to push that anger down.

All she wanted was acceptance. Even if it meant trying to change herself. Even if it meant getting violent. Even if it meant throwing a tantrum. Even if it meant she had to be cruel.
'Cruel' She called it, but honestly, it was more like being aggressive and demanding. See, Amelia was never really a mean or enraged woman. She typically kept quiet (until you became friends) and always tried to be gentle (until you became friends).
A brave woman with a stubborn mind and strong will about to give up? Why would she?

"America does not give up. I have a destiny. I have rights. I have the willpower to become what I want. No one can stop me." Ran through her mind. She felt her pulse pound in her head, her growing migraine making her too exhausted to stay awake. She felt her body ache as she turned over and, soon, she fell asleep. 
Yet her mind still ran through her terrors, even whilst dreaming.

She needed an escape.