My Rock

The meeting

The atmosphere in Miss. Teasdale's office was warm and inviting. It was different from the rest of the school. There were pictures of what could only be assumed as her daughter everywhere, a cute little blonde girl full of life and energy. At the bottom of one of the picture frames was the word Lux. Harry was intrigued by how truly happy everyone looked in the photographs. It was something that he longed for. He wanted to be part of a happy family, hell he just wanted to be happy.

"Is that your daughter?" Harry asked shyly.

Miss Teasdale's face lit up as she replied with a soft "Yes, she will be three soon."

Harry got up and walked around her office, admiring all the pictures and diplomas that hung on the walls. She just watched him for a second while she pulled out his record. She was trying to get a feel of him. Trying to read his body language so she would know how to approach him about last week's event. She along with all of his teachers knew about the suicide attempt, but she was going to be the first to acknowledge it, and Harry knew that.

Harry could feel her watching him and it made him uneasy. His body started to tense and his mind started to race. Was she going to judge me? Was she going to tell me that I can't attend this college anymore? Or worse, is she going to try to get me hospitalized. All these thoughts raced through Harry's head as he paced around her office.

"Harry, why don't you take a seat?" Miss Teasdale asked as she gestured to the red leather chair in front of her desk.

Harry obliged. He sat on the edge of the seat leaning forward and playing with his fingers. He had never dreaded a moment more than this one.

"So Harry, tell me about your classes?"

Harry was taken aback by this question. He thought for sure that she was going to ask him right away about his attempt. "Umm, they are alright" he muttered.

"I see that you are taking some fun classes, music, and gym. And some academic classes, history, maths, english. What is your favorite?"

"I guess I thoroughly enjoy music."

"What do you like most about it?" she coaxed."I like to sing, it's my escape" he replied shyly, looking down to avoid eye contact with her.

"Escape from what?" she pried a little more.

Harry didn't want to answer. He knew if he did something bad was going to happen. His body was frozen again, just like it was not even twenty minutes ago in the hallway. He couldn't move or speak. He was okay with it because he really didn't want to either.

"It's okay Harry, anything said in my office stays in my office," she said softly as she walked around to him rubbing his back gently.

He jerked at her touch. He sighed and finally replied with a fast "my life."

"Why do you need an escape from your life?" She already knew the answer but she tried to make it sound as innocent as she could.

"Life just can be mean, ya know"

"Care to explain" she sounded so intrigued like she actually cared what Harry had to say.

"Well, umm, people are accepting of me. They tend to beat me up because of who I am. I wish I could change it but I cant." Admitting this made him feel a little uneasy. He wanted to run again, but he knew that he couldn't. He couldn't escape this time.

"What is it about you that you wish you could change?" she asked sensitively. Even though she is a counselor she hears everything. She already knew but she wanted to hear him say it.

"My sexuality, people don't accept that I am gay and I wish they would. My own family doesn't even accept it." Harry basically mumbled out the last part, he was ashamed of it.

"You said people beat you up? Is it verbally or physically?" She was more concerned now. She couldn't even imagine either one going on under her supervision. She had always tried to run a bully-free school. She even had campaigns that she thought were working.

Harry couldn't look at Miss Teasdale again as he replied, "both".

She was shocked, she wasn't going to get names out of him, so she wasn't even going to try. "Harry, love, I am so sorry. I want you to know I accept you, and many others here do too. It's ok to be who you are in this school, even though sometimes it may not seem like it." She told herself over and over again in her head that things would be okay for Harry, but she was having a hard time believing it. She knew how cruel the kids in her school were. "Is that the reason you tried to commit suicide last week?" She asked that question with such care but she could tell by his reaction that she should have found another way to bring it up.

Harry hesitated before answering. "Umm, I guess."

Miss Teasdale hesitated for a moment, buying her time to come over her initial shock. "I know this has been difficult but I want to help you move forward. That's in the past; let's make today a new beginning for you, would you like that? Would you let me help you?" 

Harry nodded his head. He wanted things to be different. He didn't want to live his life being unhappy anymore. He didn't want to live his life in fear, not knowing if the person around the corner was going to beat the shit out of him.

"Great!" she jumped with enthusiasm. It made Harry chuckle. He wasn't expecting her to react with such excitement. "We have a program here at the college called Big Brother, have you heard of it?"Harry shook his head."That's okay, what it is, is a program where we pair our underclassmen with our upperclassmen. It is almost like a mentoring program. It would give you someone to talk to who is in or has been in a situation similar to yours. I actually have someone in mind for you. Someone, I think you would click great with. Would you be willing to give this program a try for me?"

Harry really didn't want to. He really didn't think that anyone could relate to him. Or at least he hoped that no one could. He thought it was bad enough that he had to go through this, let alone someone else. Harry just nodded in response to Miss. Teasdale's question.

"Good, did you have any plans for after period six?"

"No", why would he. No one like Harry; he had no friends.

"Ok so I have a meeting with your Big Brother this afternoon, I will tell him to meet you in the library after period six." She seemed so excited to help Harry, it was something that he wasn't used to.

The bell for period one rang. "You better go to class before you are late Harry."

Harry gathered his things and started to walk out the door.

"Remember Harry, I accept you for who you are, and today is a new day, the past is the past. And if you need anything, anything at all you know where my office is" Miss Teasdale called from behind her desk with a bright smile on her face.