41. Now or Never

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The first thing that woke Devyn up was the sunrise, rather than the boy that was snoring against her chest

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The first thing that woke Devyn up was the sunrise, rather than the boy that was snoring against her chest. She was confused as she took in her surroundings, realizing they had fallen asleep on the dock last night. Her fingers combed themselves gently through John B's tangled curls, trying to soothe him. Her stomach sank when she remembered why they were outside in the first place: Big John's makeshift funeral. She had to prop up a bit in order to properly swallow the bile that rose in her throat at the thought, forcing herself to choke down tears.
She still had this suffocating, overwhelming sense of guilt that she couldn't quite pinpoint the exact cause of.

"What time is it?" John B grumbled into her blue tank top, his eyes clenched shut as he sat up with an unsteady wobble.

"I'm guessing around five," Devyn murmured, turning to look at the warmly painted sky, the beautiful hues stretching across the shoreline.

John B got to his feet, offering the girl a hand and pulling her up as well.

"I'm gonna go on a drive. Why don't you stay here and get some real sleep?" John B smoothed her hair down affectionately, his eyes heavy with sadness and sleep.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Devyn asked, her fingers running over the stitches in her shoulder as they walked back up toward the house, her dark eyes barely open.

"Nah. I wanna be alone for a little bit," John B confessed, giving her a sheepish look.

"That's totally fine, JB," Devyn ruffled his hair as they entered through the back door, tossing him the keys to the Mystery Machine. "Just don't be gone too long, okay? And be safe."

"Yes, mom," John B rolled his eyes, doing his best to fall back into their normal routine of sibling-like teasing.

They both knew it was an act, but it was a comforting one.

"Shut up. See you soon, Bird," Devyn pushed his shoulder playfully, turning to walk into his room.

"See you soon, Bug."

Neither of them saw the look of absolute defeat on the other's face once they turned away— the heavy taste of grief thick on their tongues.

Devyn let out a hard sigh as she poured some food into Leon's bowl, giving the orange cat a loving scratch between his ears. Her feet could barely keep up as she stumbled into John B's room, plopping exhaustedly into his bed, sleep overcoming her before she knew what was happening.

She awoke to shouting, her head snapping up in alarm as she desperately tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes. She had no idea how long she'd been sleeping for— minutes, hours?— when John B came storming into his room, face twisted in rage and defeat.

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