Little Ballerina (A WinterWidow Story)

Ch. 25 Hello Again

A note from Renee: hi everyone I will highlight briefly on a bit of a sore subject. This chapter will touch slightly on eating disorders/ disordered eating, I've been building up to this over the past few chapters. This is something that I personally struggle with and wanted to include in my story. Plus I think it something that should be talked about. It will not effect the course of the plot so I will indicate when it begins and ends with "***" so feel free to scroll until I indicate it's ended. Also I wrote the lullaby so please be kind, I've never written music before lol.

Run away.

It was a powerful instinct.

An instinct that has kept Natasha alive for longer than she could remember.

And for the first time in a while...

She acted on it.

A few hours from New York, there was a small ballet studio where she rented a room when she needed to escape.

In that room, she was completely and wholly herself. She didn't have to hide or change herself to fit in.

In that room, she could fall back on the one positive of the Red Room.

Dance.

And dance she would.

She would dance until her limbs were sore and her feet bloodied and blistered.

She would dance until the voices inside her head became silent.

She would dance and exercise for hours and hours on end.

She would dance until her body and mind were physically and mentally exhausted. And she would sink to the floor- finished to the bone.

*** start

She would dance until all thoughts of necessities like food, sleep and water were but background noise.

In a way it was comforting.

In the Red Room, a warm meal, a hot shower and a soft bed were all privileges that she had not been offered.

There were times that the girls would go days without food.

And Natasha fell back on that sometimes.

Whether it was conscious or unconscious. She would find herself skipping meals in favor of a few extra rounds of training.

And after what she had just learned, it sent her into another spiral.

A spiral of her need for perfection. Each turn, spin and pass she did had to be perfect. And even when it was. She wasn't satisfied.

*** end

On the third day of her escape into the studio, she was drying her long red hair after a shower when she heard her phone. And for the first time in three days, she checked it.

Natasha's screen was full of missed calls and messages. Mainly from Sam.

Sam: Natasha where are you? Bucky is staring at me again, he won't talk. It's creepy.

Sam: Alright now I'm starting to worry about you, Red

Sam: Are you ignoring me because I borrowed your car? I swear the scratch wasn't me

Sam: Alright, Natasha. You've made your point. Answer the phone.

Sam: there's been an update about Rina. Get back as soon as you can.

Sam: that's it I'm coming to get you. I'll be there in twenty.

That last text was sent ten minutes ago.