What Souls are Made Of

Chapter 11

We drove the rest of the way through the winding vineyards of Ojai in silence. As the miles slipped away, it was easy to pretend the situation was different. The soft setting sun gave off a spectacular light show of yellows, oranges, and purples as the road hummed beneath the car. Sarah and I had made this trip so many times on so many days just like this. I longed for this to be one of those moments. I longed for the days in the past when zombies were marginalized to fiction, and I could worry about money, my career, or even getting the flu. But those weren't reality anymore. In reality, I was worried about the love of my life being a ruthless monster, my breath smelling like brains, and the potential that at any moment, I could snap and eat the brain of my only friend.

"How do you know where to go?"

"Mmhmm," I murmured as my mind still clung to memories of better days.

"How do you know where to go?" Millie pressed again.

"What? Oh," I paused to ponder her question.

I didn't know how I knew, but I found myself drawn to a familiar place. The sense of familiarity was interesting. The place we were heading felt familiar even though I hadn't stepped inside once solely because I had spent so much time thinking about it. I was going to Sarah's favorite mansion. We had spent countless afternoons gazing up at it from the fields below. Sarah would invent stories of our life within the walls while I would watch loose tendrils of her hair dance in the breeze.

"It's just a place that... I err... always wanted to see the inside of," I shrugged as we pulled into the driveway. "It's probably vacant; you wait here."

"What? No, I'm coming with you," she protested.

"No, it's too dangerous."

"Oh, and if this place is a den of asshat zombies, being alone in a car is going to be the safest bet?"

"Yeah, you see a zombie, you drive. You drive fast, and you don't look back."

"What? No, I won't leave you."

"Yes, you will. I'm already a zombie; I can't become a zombie again."

"No,..."

"Mil," I cut her off. "You will leave. You have your plans, and I have mine. I followed yours; now it's your turn to reciprocate."

"My plan was to kiss, a fucking kiss. Your plan is to abandon yourself. There is a bit of a delta there."

"Mil, I'm not negotiating this." As I spoke, I reached under my seat and pulled out a gun. "Do you know how to use one of these?"

"A gun?" Her voice rose in a mix of shock and concern; it would have been cute if it weren't in reaction to a gun.

"Yes, a gun. You have to hit them in the head. It's the only way to stop them. If you blast their brain, they drop, and you can floor it out of here."

"Fine," she crossed her arms in a pout. "But you take the gun. If I see a zombie, I will floor it."

I paused at her sudden reasonable tone. I hadn't expected reason to take hold so quickly.

"It's ok," I smiled as I pulled my second gun from beneath my seat, "I'm covered. If I'm not back in an hour, leave and don't look back."

"Is this how you are planning to get rid of me?" She rose an eyebrow to accent her jest.

I knew she was kidding, but every joke has a kernel of truth. Somewhere deep inside of her, she was genuinely worried I would ditch her.

"Millie," I let my eyes meet her's, "I would never leave you intentionally." I let a hand flow over her auburn hair and pulled her forehead to my lips. "I will do everything in my power to come back to you. These are just precautions."

One of her delicate hands slipped to my chest, sending warmth through me that I hadn't felt in my new state. For a brief moment, I wondered if there was a part of me that wasn't a monster. How could warmth spread if my heart were frozen?

"Take this and keep it on you at all times," I added as I pulled away from her and grabbed one of the empty mint tins that littered the car. I poured a small amount of Moshio in it, knowing it would be enough. "It has to stay on you, do you understand?"

"Yes," her voice was strong and filled with annoyance at my safeguards. "Come back to me," she added in a whisper.

"I will," I promised with a second kiss to her forehead.

I struggled to pull myself from the car. It was as though a magnet connected me to Millie, and severing that bond had become nearly impossible. My legs felt heavy with each step up the stairs. Just before I knocked on the thick wooden door, I turned to get one last glimpse and remind her to duck from view with the wave of my hand.

The knock echoed not just through the cavernous room behind it but also through my balled hand and into my chest. As much as I wanted to find Sarah, I hoped she was not here. I feared what I knew of Sarah and what I knew of this den. But when the door silently swung open at the hands of a greenish zombie that looked vaguely like a musician from the '90s that I couldn't quite place, I knew I was in the right location. The greeter's eyes slipped beyond me to the car, and I froze myself. If I looked, he would surely know there was someone there. If I didn't look, I didn't have anything to hide.

"Hello, I'm here to see Sarah," my voice cracked from my nerves. I took a heavy swallow and continued in a smoother voice, "Sarah Benn."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Seth, her Seth."

"I don't recall her mentioning having a Seth." He eyed me up and down suspiciously.

"So, she's here," the excitement and relief bubbled in my voice, causing the man to look me up and down with further scrutiny.

Just as he was about to slam the door in my face, a scrawny zombie that couldn't have been much more than a teen when he was turned, sprinted out of nowhere and mumbled something into the other's ear.

"Well, Sarah's Seth, it's your lucky day," the greeter grumbled as he stepped out of the way. It was the only sign he gave that I was allowed to enter.