My vows ( on hold till 2024 may )

chapter~59

Maybe my smile didn't reach my eyes as there was an awkward silence which didn't bother me .

Rahul broke the silence by speaking about the destinations that have been selected. I looked at Neelu who avoided my gaze and started pulling noor along with her.

I gazed at her sharply and then looked at the man beside me.
Maybe it's true that daughters are always biased towards fathers even if a mother pours out her blood and sweat .

I looked at the destination sites and the costs listed. It's nothing much that a multi billionaire couldn't afford. But I almost laughed out seeing Anu's pale face while she saw the prices.

I looked at her as she dragged Rahul away from the garden as I sipped my tea, enjoying the play.
Maybe I'm becoming more sadistic than I would prefer....

I sighed and looked at Saraswathi who has been looking down at her lap from the time I entered. I turned to look at Sanjay as he conversed with  Arjun about their work. Saraswathi gazed at me and smiled at me briefly before looking away.

" pardon me " I said and left with noor . I left behind Neelu as I know that even if I bring her back inside, she will sneak out for her father .

I have been thinking about it since few days. Thinking about meeting my parents. Show them my face atleast.

After making sure that all the kids took their bath, they walked infront of me down the stairs and Ibbu held noor's hand guiding her slowly. I didn't find Neelu any where near boys. She must have left after taking bath.....

As soon as we entered, I let the kids sit down first and then served them one by one. The maid bought the bowl I prepared for noor and kept it before the little one .  Noor quickly digged the spoon inside and kept it in her mouth.
She giggled happily and hugged the bowl tightly in her one arm and ate with a smile on her face with crumples around her mouth . 

My heart warmed up seeing her as she ate happily. I was worried that she wouldn't even eat properly today.

The strange quietness in the hall broke down as soon noor giggled and everyone had a small smile on their face as they started to eat.

I had already seen Neelu as soon as I entered the dining hall . She was sitting in her father's lap.  But I acted as if I didn't bother with her presence or absence. That kid will soon come back running to me . 

After making sure that all the kids are eating, only then did I sit down at the farther end beside Abhi and ate the food in my plate.

After dinner, I tucked all the kids in their beds and left only after making sure that the jars on the table on their bedsides had water filled to the brim.

I entered my room and went through the files on my laptop that I have taken from the base .
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The sun shone brightly as I stood infront of the same house that I have grown in for about 18 years.....

'Do I hate them?' 
Yes.
For getting me married without knowing about those people clearly.

'Do I blame them?' 
Yes.
For not listening to me and taking my words and opinions as nonsense.

'Do I really hate and blame them?' 
No.
I can't.
Because the me now.
Knows that it ain't all their fault. 
Because if they knew this would happen, they would have never allowed me to step in to that house even over their death .

I can get married poor and get killed. 

I can get married mediocre and get killed.

I can get married rich and get killed.