Chapter 6: Dull

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Yuri's POV
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When did this all begin? Why do I feel this way? I haven't felt like this for a long time. So why am I feeling it now? Why for her? Is it just something about her even I'm still oblivious to? Whatever the reason, I find myself growing more attached to Natsuki each day. I realize it's a familiars job to be a friend to their witch and all of that stuff, but I feel like I want to be more than just Natsuki's friend. I know I'm lesbian, that's not the part I'm confused about though.  Out of all people, why her? I mean, I don't want to be rude or anything but Natsuki isn't necessarily one of the most desirable women, she can be rather rude at times. Maybe that's why though, maybe it's the fact that I'd rather have someone who would want to stand up for me, someone who isn't afraid to tell it how it is. Too bad she just sees me as a friend though. She was clearly angry that I decided to give in to what I wanted and slept in the same bed as her. I made the weak excuse that she wouldn't let go of me, in all reality I could have broken down my own atoms to a fine mist and left without disturbing her. But I didn't. God, I'm selfish aren't I?

"Yuri, you're spacing out again!" Natsuki broke my train of thought. "Oh! Sorry!" I apologized before taking another bite of my food. "Geez, it's already lunch, you've been out of it all day. What's wrong with you?" Natsuki asked. That's quite the list. "Nothing, just, didn't sleep to great I guess." I shrugged. To be honest, I slept better than most nights with her then when I sleep alone. "Oh, I guess that makes sense." Natsuki muttered. 

Why does it feel like I'm clinging to my life by a thread when I'm within perfect health? Like I'm just a walking corpse? I eat well, get plenty of exercise, well I don't get much sleep but still. Not a lot of sleep is needed for familiars to function properly, we aren't like humans. Yet I still feel like something is missing. Something very important.

"Yuri!" Natsuki shouted angered. "C'mon, we gotta go." I sat up. "Sorry, my bad. Let's go." I began to walk with the her. Monika and Sayori had apparently left already. "Why are you spacing out so much? You said your just tired, I know. But I don't buy that. What's really going on?" Natsuki turned around and stopped me from moving. "Natsuki, I'm fine." I said trying to move past her. She didn't let me. "No! Not until you tell me what's wrong!" Natsuki demanded. I really hate being backed into a corner like this. "I'm perfectly fine, please stop." I said trying to move away once more. Natsuki refused to let me. "No." She said, literally backing me into a corner. "Let me go. Now." I said, my cat ears folding back and my tail becoming poofy. Natsuki noticed. "Why are you getting angry? Or scared? Or, fuck what else makes your tails go all poofy like that?" Natsuki purposely made that joke, I'm guessing to calm me down a bit. It worked. I sighed. "I really am fine Natsuki. I think I am at least, I'm not to sure. Trust me when I tell you that if something was wrong with me I promise you'd be the first person to know." I said setting my hands on her shoulders. I couldn't help but notice Natsuki blushed up when I did this. She crossed her arms. "Okay, but you better keep that promise. Or else I'll kick your ass."  She said crossing her arms. I smiled and took my hands off of her with a small nod. Natsuki let me go, I grabbed hold of her hand before I left and gave her a warm smile. Natsuki looked away and blushed. 

What is that missing piece? I haven't the slightest clue. All I know it's something I desperately need. I feel like I'm about to fall apart. Sometimes I do fall apart, in the literal sense, I mean my atoms float away from the rest of my mass, I don't know why that is, but at least it hasn't happened infront of any of the others yet. 

Natsuki shook me back into reality. Giving me an angry glare. "Sorry Natsuki.." I said rubbing the back of my neck. "It's fine... Just I'm getting worried, you promise you'll tell me if something's wrong right..?" The puppy dog eyes Natsuki gave me absolutely melted my heart. "I promise." I reassured her. "Thanks." Natsuki redirected her attention to the class.

I do believe this missing piece is something currently just out of my grasp. Maybe if I were to push myself just a little harder I'd be able to grab it. Sleep less, and focus more on school and athletics. I set my focus on the lesson. If I want to push myself I better pay attention. The rest of the school day went on as per usual, Natsuki looked happier once she saw I was focused on school again. Which was nice.

I planned to stay up, possibily all night. Studying and craming as much knowledge as I could into my brain. It didn't matter what I was trying to learn about, I was going to look in to all sorts of different things until I could find that missing piece. Once I confirmed the other three were sleeping, I got out of bed and snuck to the computer lab.

It's around six in the morning now, I do believe I've learnt quite a lot. But, something interested me in particular, on a whim I searched up info on romantic gestures and things of that nature. I'm not sure what true love feels like, but could it be I thought of Natsuki because of love? It's likely, but I thought that with Ajax as well, and he ended up being a douchebag, so, I'll just wait and see.

I twisted open the door knob to the dorm room.

Oh no.

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