Crying Skies, Rain And Discarded Memories

What if || Part 1

What if I hadnt said yes?

What if I ignored the warnings signs in the form of yelled curses in the hallway?

What if I had walked away when our shoudlers bumped?

What if I hadn't noticed as I squared my shoudlers, your shoudlers slumped?

What if I had told you to fuck off and been the reason that you weren't here the next day?

What if I had overlooked the heavy price you were struggling to pay?

for the vices of your parents who'd never thought about the child struck in the crossfire,

For the vices of those who had never listened, whose ears are always busy yet their tongues never tire.

You were just another product of the society I struggle to survive in day after day,

And the only reason I get by is because I stick to the rules and never get in the way.

Yet somehow the guy who jumped over walls to bunk classes caught my eye,

And when I caught you smoking at the empty corridor near the library, it was a pleasant suprise,

I mean you were still inside the school premises, right?

Kinda funny how I see you everyday yet I never noticed,

The steely look in your eyes, called off as rebellious, is just hopeless,

And when you caught me staring at you that day, you crushed the fag held between your fingers and smirked.

To your surprise, I smirked right back.

You looked as unfazed as ever,

As if seeing a girl smirk hadn’t set you right off,

I knew it did, because you're so used to girls swooning all over you,

Yet you'd never even smiled back, you’d just scoffed.

And then they'd moved on to the cooler guys who weren't afraid to have girls hanging off their arms,

And I don't blame them really, some of us do need that bit of validation,

That we never get from our elders, so we stick to that of our peers,

And there's some who get it from neither, they pretend they don't care,

They pretend they don't care about the rumours, about what clothes they wear,

They brush it off saying its bad humour, but still kinda wish that the rumours werent there.

Back to this dude I really didnt notice

The dude I never bothered to get to know.

Yet the note he left had my name on it,

I figured it was just a joke,

Yet, I followed what it said.

I knew it wasn’t a date,

Still I grabbed the oldest book I owned,

And let fate do the rest.

See, let's go a couple years forward,

And I'm still that girl who always looks lost,

I haven’t grown an inch over the summer, over any summer, I'm sure,

I've still got the glasses, I keep wearing my brother's shirts, I liked them the most.

I keep forgetting to buy perfume, so I stick to his cologne,

So, a couple years forward, I still haven’t changed that much,

I'm still too hyper, too curious, too quiet, jumps up when touched.

And I still keep bumping shoulders with a guy that I still don't know.

But then he says, he'll tell me more about him later, then we just go home.

There's been a tiny change though,

I've recently moved out.

I moved to another city, then settled down in a small town.

I've got a tiny apartment, but it's cheap and the view is great,

It's great for someone like me, but the ventilation isn’t that great,

Cause no matter how many windows I open and how many times I have to keep opening the gate,

No matter how many bottles of perfume I use, this place always smells of cigarettes.

I haven’t even had one till date,

I think I might have tried,

But the coughing that I did right after,

Someone would think I was almost dying.

And nearly half of that one bedroom apartment, is filled with books and notebooks alike,

And the other half is filled by a couple of cats and me, and that boy I ceased to dislike.