Inception {Dreamnotfound}

1 | Worst Wishes | 1

"So if Karl forgives you, I will too. It's not my place to hold a grudge," Tubbo shrugs. His eyes cloud over as the last few words leave his lips, refusing to match Fundy's gaze anymore. He steps towards the ex-assassin once more, and this time, nobody tries to stop him.

"Although, Fundy, you have to understand what has happened to everyone else since because of this. You betrayed Karl's trust by killing him, and you betrayed mine by lying to me about what happened to him. That wasn't right."

"I know it wasn't, but I didn't have a choice." Fundy's eyes fall to Karl, who seems to be letting this happen without interference, signalling for Fundy to continue. "Nothing I could say would've made you forgive me, so I couldn't say anything at all. I wanted you to know, I really did. It was only fair that way, but after the time it took me to understand I couldn't do anything about the mistake I'd made, I'd left it too long to tell you."

"You could've told me," Tubbo mumbles irritably, bright blue eyes wide with disappointment. "I know you didn't mean any harm Fundy; I saw what you and Karl were like. You aren't a bad person. Of course I would've been mad, and it probably would've made me leave you, but at least it would've been honest."

Fundy pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation at himself, shaking his head slowly as if in denial of his own actions. I watch Tubbo nervously, unsure what to make of this situation.

I did what Fundy did. I killed someone for what anyone else would see as personal gain, selfishness. But I don't think people understand what goes through your head when you're so deprived of safety.

It drives you crazy, past the point of insanity until you're so desperate to be okay that you'd do irrational things for that feeling. You don't think about it until it's all over, until it's too late.

That's why I ever believed in this world when I was alone.

This system is sickly.

"So is this it?" Fundy asks into the silence, and I notice the way Sapnap glares at him. "I don't expect acceptance from any of you, and honestly, I can't say I deserve it. I'm just wondering what you're going to do next."

"I think you already know that Tubbo and I are going with these three." Karl signals to his soulmate, who's resorted to pacing around, lost in his own thoughts. Then to Clay and I, who don't bother to intrude on the conversation.

"But I want to get something straight first," he tells the ex-assassin. "Fundy, you killed me out of fear. I know that because I can tell even now that you regret what you did."

The look in Fundy's eyes says as much, filled with regret and unable to meet Karl's because of it. "And I think most people would think I'm crazy for acting so calm about this. But think about it: what else can I do? Kill you? People kill others all the time."

"We've all got a little priority list in our heads of who we would save, whether we're willing to admit it or not. You're not the only person to do this, you're merely one of most likely thousands."

I think over Karl's words carefully, realising he's right. We excuse people killing for soulmates all the time, because of that priority list ingrained in our heads.

We are taught to believe it's okay.

"The only difference between what Sapnap did and what you did is he killed for someone else's safety, and you killed for your own," Karl continues, voicing my thoughts exactly.

"Do we excuse that because it's for someone else, and is therefore 'selfless'? Because the world tells us it's okay to kill for our 'soulmate', which the system itself decided? So that excuses murder?"

"We don't question it not because it's right, but because we don't know any different. It's likely most of the population have already or at some point will kill someone else. That's why we don't question it, it's because we can't. It's normal to us."

There's a strange glow of realisation in Tubbo's eyes as he subtly signs to Tommy, as if understanding a new side of things.

"You shouldn't have done what you did, Fundy, but I can't exactly blame you for it when so many others have done the same." He shakes his head once more, but there's a sense of understanding in his eyes. Sweetly, he offers Fundy a polite smile.

Karl is right after all, killing other people is normal here. This whole process messes with our heads, manipulating us into what is and isn't right.

The night I killed Clay, I knew something was wrong.

I froze up completely before I could even do anything, like some part of me knew that it wasn't right. That's what Fundy must've done too, except the warning arrived when it was too late.

Nothing good came from any of this. All we have is a bitter understanding of this world, and a little more sympathy for those who succumb to the pressure of it.

This world is twisted.