Lipstick

Chapter 5: Royally Rude Blue

Have you ever wanted to just bury your head in the sand and never come out? Because that's how I feel right now. I feel so awful and stupid and embarrassed that something that horrible came out of my mouth. Where did it even come from?

I have no clue.

The rest of Sunday was a blur. I knew I had to fix it. I couldn't just not fix it. I called my best friend something awful. Well technically I didn't call her that, but I indirectly did. Which is just as bad. I texted her, called her, snaped her, she ignored me.

I have to do something to fix this.

"Hey," Carson walked over to me in my driveway.

Shoot! With all this Josie stuff I totally forgot to text him.

"Hey, I'm so sorry I spaced on you. I just have a lot going on. My friends basically banned me from being near them." I sigh and lean against my car.

I had been pacing my driveway, something I do when I'm stressed. The fresh air helps me think.

"Why?" he leaned on the car next to me.

"I fucked up Carson. I said something so stupid and awful."

"Like what?"

"Remember when that guy kept picking on you and calling you... you know that word, that slur for gay guys. Well, I basically said the girl version of that word to my best friend. I'm royally screwed."

"Why'd you say it?" he said seriously.

"I didn't mean to! It just came out! She was pressuring me and I was backed into a corner. I don't know, I just wish I could take it back. She started crying! I made her cry! What do I do?" I look to him for help.

"That's fucked up," he looks off into the distance.

"Not helping! I know it's fucked up. How do I un-fuck it?"

"Did you say sorry?"

"Yes! Of course, I said sorry. It didn't help. I mean you beat that guy to a pulp for calling you that. How does anyone recover from saying something like that? It's like I've gone to the dark side and I just realized I can't see in the dark!"

He laughs.

"Carson!"

"Relax Kat, anyone who knows you knows you couldn't hurt a fly even if you tried. If words don't work you have to try something else. They always say actions speak louder than words."

I eye him, the wheels slowly turning in my head.

"I know that look," he smirks.

"I fucking missed you." I tackle him in a hug.

Carson and I have been secret friends for years now. We'd always hang out after school and go on walks around the neighborhood together. He's basically my best friend, but the guy version.

When I pull back, he pecks me on the lips.

I wasn't expecting it and jolt in surprise.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean, I was just, I thought—"

I cut him off by kissing him.

When I pull back his whole face is red. I can't help but giggle at how cute he looks.

"You just surprised me is all." I peck him on the cheek.

"Are we like boyfriend-girlfriend now?"

I laugh, "I forget you are basically a virgin to everything."

"Hey!" he pouts.

"Yes Carson, we are boyfriend and girlfriend." I roll my eyes.