Haikyuu Sickfics

Bad Thoughts (UshiTen) 💜

"Oh. Hey," Satori said quietly.

"Hey," Semi said, looking at his paper still.

"I didn't know you guys were hanging out today. Tell Wakatoshi I stopped by."

"Yeah, okay."

Tendou walked away from the dorm room. He had nothing else to do today and was going to ask for some alone time with Ushijima but Semi was already there so there was no way he could. Tears pricked in his eyes as bad thoughts encompassed his brain like polluted smoke. Ushijima didn't tell him they were hanging out because he didn't want Tendou to invite himself. He knew he'd leave if Semi was there. He didn't want Tendou there. Tendou had been so sad lately, he was no fun to be around.

The tears began to fall and Tendou tried to wipe his eyes. You never know who was in the halls. He was almost back in his room when he ran smack dab into someone.

"Ow," he whimpered. He looked up to see who he ran into, already apologizing profusely. He felt like he couldn't breathe. God, he fucked up again.

"Satori, calm down." The voice was thick and rough and without a doubt his boyfriend's. He helped him to his feet and tried to make sure he was okay. Tendou wouldn't look him in the eye. "Tendou? I need to make sure that you're okay."

The middle blocker sniffled and shook his head, claiming, "I'm fine."

Ushijima caressed Tendou's face, lifting it softly to look at him. Of course his eyes were puffy and his nose was ready but there was something else. He was void of all happiness, seeming so depressed and alone.

"Tendou, your hair is down and you've been crying. What's the matter?"

'He doesn't really care.'

"It's nothing, Ushiwaka. I'm fine."

'Push him away."

"Satori," he warns.

"I'm just tired."

'You're the worst boyfriend ever.'

His thoughts were beginning to spiral. He was tired. So, so tired. He felt so alone and upset. He broke down. Mentally and physically. He sunk to the floor, burying his eyes into the heel of his hands and choking on his own sobs, his breath gone. He would've completely fallen if his green haired boyfriend didn't hold him up.

"I'm tired, Jima! So tired! It doesn't go away and it hurts, please make it stop! Please!" Tendou sobbed for what felt like eternity. He hadn't cried in a while and it was good to get it out. As he wailed, Wakatoshi picked him up and carried him to bed. He wrapped his boyfriend in a blanket and held him, kissing his forehead to quiet his sobs. Who knew the ace of Shiratorizawa could be so gentle?

"Breathe, Satori. You're okay." Tendou took a few deep breaths, trying to get his breathing under control. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, still whimpering a bit. Ushijima rubbed his back, calming him down some more. "Are you ready to talk?"

"I feel...alone. Everyone hates me and no one likes to hang out with me because I'm weird and awkward."

"What do you mean? No one hates you, Tendou."

"But-but, no one likes to hang out with me."

"Everyone is really busy lately, Satori. Even you and I are busy, we're just busy together."

"You're sure they don't hate me?"

"I'm sure. Do you want to hang out with me and Semi? We're studying today."

"I don't know. I'm exhausted and really just want cuddles," Tendou pouted.

Ushiwaka smiled. "I really have to study but I'm sure Semi won't mind." Tendou tensed up but Ushijima kissed the back of his hand. "It'll be okay. He doesn't hate you."

Tendou nodded and got out of Wakatoshi's lap. Ushijima called Semi and got the okay to cuddle and study as long as Shirabu could come too. The 4 hung out the rest of the day and even played a set of volleyball during a break with Goshiki and Ohira.

"You were great, Tendou! Better than great!" Goshiki shouted after marvelling over Wakatoshi.

"Thanks, squirt! Too bad you're not a middle blocker, I could help you."

"I can do both! Let's practice sometime!"

"You really want to hang out with me?"

"Yeah! I have to go now though, but maybe at the training camp!" And with that, the young spiker was off.

Ushijima walked up to tendou and put a hand on his shoulder. "See? No one hates you, Tendou. You're an important part to our team, a great friend and an awesome boyfriend."

"Thank you, Toshi. And thank you for always easing my mind."

"Anytime. I'll always be here for you."

And he always was. This wasn't the last time his thoughts got dark, not by a long shot but Wakatoshi was there. Every. Single. Time. And Tendou was appreciative. Who cared about bad thoughts when there were people who cared about you?