Chapter 53

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Ildri's sleep was filled with nightmares she could not later remember. She did not watch the army ride away. The castle was still well protected both by magic and a regiment of good soldiers.

The mood in Wildwood was dark the day after the army left, as if its heart had left it. Ildri certainly felt like hers had, and she spent her time wondering if she had been a complete fool not to have spent more time with Ty. It seemed he had some interest in her and she wanted nothing more than to be with him. The other part of her knew that she had not been a fool, because it would never work between someone like her and someone like him. It would have led to heartache. Yet her heart was aching anyway, so it seemed that she was trapped in it either way. If he died, what would the point of holding herself back have been?

Ildri spent her morning working on potions again and Anya seemed truly miserable. Maxine still smiled but Ildri could not help but think that it was not quite the same beautiful, vibrant smile the older woman generally wore. Keziah flew around making a nuisance of herself and Sabin cawed at her any time she came too close. The rabbits huddled under the shelves, even Rebecca seemed leery of the other familiars. Even the twins were getting on her nerves, and she usually thought they were cute and amusing.

Finally Ildri had enough of all of them. "I'm taking a short break," she announced. She had enough of the tiny room.

"We're not making much progress," Anya said gloomily.

"I think we should all take a break," Maxine added.

"I certainly have more bloody important things to do," Damani complained.

"Don't say that, Damani," said Anya and Kallie together. He scowled.

"Bloody important mess," added Keziah.

"Why does the bird get to say bloody if I can't?" he complained.

"If I could stop her so easily, I would," Ildri snapped.

"Come on," Anya said to the twins and they departed with Sabin flying after them. Maxine smiled at Ildri and left as well.

Ildri walked towards the door. Keziah landed in her favoured spot on Ildri's shoulder. Ildri looked at the bird. "I don't want to hear one word out of you if you're coming," she said, hoping the bird knew what she was talking about.

* * * * *

Ildri went outside and walked around the perimeter of the stone walls. The sky was cloudy and dark and looked as if it would pour at any time. Ildri scowled at it, daring it to go ahead and do just that.

Ildri kept walking briskly around. She felt like a caged animal, which was odd because there was a time that she would not have minded the feeling at all. She did not want to think about what the difference was, either. She had enough worries without.

"Ildri!" she heard a shout and turned around.

Hanna came running forward. "I was looking all over for you!"

"What's wrong?" Ildri asked.

"Oh, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? You're leaving?" Ildri asked. She had not expected anyone to take Lord Wildwood up on his offer to leave the castle.

Hanna shrugged and looked bashful. "My mother wants me to return. Since we're not in danger of losing the farm any longer, she feels it would be better if I'm at home to help. I think she's hoping that if we lose the war, they might not take our land if we seem not to be allied with the king."

"Oh," Ildri said, surprised.

"I don't think it would make a difference, really, but that's what she wants. I said that they should come here instead, but she said no. Says the farm's my birthright or something."

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