Things Better Left Unsaid (Snape love story)

Chapter Sixteen: People Change

He laughed a single, cold chuckle. He had never done that before. it was, dare I say, a bit out of character. "That is simply because it doesn't matter to me." He replied easily, a snide touch to his tone.

I thought of Dumbledore. He's just being difficult. I made him crack once under pressure- cant I do it again?

Unless he really doesn't want me.

I crossed my arms. "You're a very difficult man, you know? It's no wonder why you've never had a woman before." I mocked.

I really thought that one would have gotten him at least a bit riled up. He simply kept the previous expression of utter annoyance, which seemed to be his default expression, anyways. "You know not of my past with women." He replied evenly.

My smirk fell. That was actually true- I knew nothing of this. Everyone always though he was a lonely creep, but of he could get me to fall for him like this without so much as saying my name in a flirtatious manner, what else has he done? I crossed my arms. "You're right. I don't. But, do you know someone who does?" I sauntered forward, closer to his desk.

He looked up. I glared into his eyes, leaning forward onto the desk, palms pressed to the wood and elbows bent. "Because I do." I whispered, winking once before jumping back up and twirling away, back towards the door, though closer to the desks now. I mock examined my cuticles, smirking to myself. I may as well act as if I know exactly what Im talking about.

To my great surprise, he jumped to his feet. "You know nothing, and nor does anyone else." He hissed, pointing at me accusingly.

I scoffed, acting haughty for the simple fact that I knew it irked him. "Well well, someone has their panties in a bunch. Tell me- do you have something to hide? I mean, besides the fact that you were romantically seeing a student." I pressed curiously, peering at the fuming man. The word 'were' slipped from my tongue with a sour taste.

Snape narrowed his eyes into slits, suddenly resembling a serpent. "You have no idea what you're talking about, stupid girl." He snapped.

New ideas popped into my mind. "Have you ever been involved with another student before? Is that it? I mean, you've done it once, who's to say you haven't before?" I knew I was just irritating him now, which was not only stupid, but dangerous. I wasn't helping me get back in good term with him, either. Not that I would go to extreme extents to do so. If he doesn't want me, to hell with him. I don't need him. I could do so much better.

Yet, just looking at him now, I didn't want to do any better. And if you asked, I couldn't tell you why- truth was, I didn't even know, myself.

Snape was suddenly in front of me, close enough for me to feel the heat of his skin, and the pulsing vein on his temple, throbbing angrily. He took hold of my shoulders, shaking me once, a small but violent tremor cascading throughout me. "You know nothing of my past, you foolish child. Don't you dare stand here, making such accusations. Do you honestly believe I would make the same idiotic mistake twice? Once was enough." His breath billowed over my face in warm clouds as he spoke, his voice so shallow it was truly frightening.

There were so many things I wanted to say. What struck me the most was that what we had, despite the short-life of it, was a mistake. I took a shaky breath through my mouth, giving him a sideways look. I knew it was too late though. The tears had already built up in my eyes, glimmering and clouding my vision until only a black, wobbling image appeared before me. I tried my best to smirk, though the corners of my lips quirked in sadness. I forced a halfhearted laugh, though it came out as more of a choke. "You didn't treat me like a child-"

He flung me back, releasing me. I toppled into a desk, catching myself on the corner of it to stop my fall. I watched him in disbelief. He sighed in annoyance, cutting me off. "Enough with your cool, witty facade. I'm tired of your games." He spat.

My face fell. I felt a few hot tears flow over onto my reddened cheeks. "What else am I supposed to do? Let everyone see how weak I feel?" I asked, looking at him with such a need, as if he held every answer I would ever need. "My life is in danger. My mother is dead. And the one person I love can't muster the courage to look me in the eyes." I said, my voice so low I could hardly hear it. I wiped my eyes and cheeks, realizing how different it sounded when I said it aloud. Did I ever even tell him I loved him? Did I actually love him? I sniffled. "You dot understand what it feels like. Unrequited feelings." I spat with a bit more vigor.

Silence. No one moved, breathed, for the next few seconds.

Then, arms. I opened my eyes to see the precise black stitching of his robes, the scent of paper and potion ingredients floating around me. I felt him smooth my hair, before burying his face into it. "I'm sorry, Philomena. You must know that I'm sorry for what I did." He whispered.

My chest swelled. Was he apologizing? Did that mean he wanted me back? After a second of tense pause, he continued. "I'm sorry I can't be with you."

After a moment, I gently pushed away from his hold. "You... You're lying."

"Listen to me-"

"No!" I shouted, shocked at how strong my voice suddenly was. "No, I won't. You listen. Dumbledore knows, so we dot have to worry. He told me to come here, to see you. He told me to fix it. He /told/ me not to give up." I blinked rapidly at the returning tears welling in my still-swollen eyes.

Snape stated at me, taken aback as well. He blinked, retaining a strong figure, though his eyes were softer. "It won't cha he anything." He told me, his voice frighteningly calm.

I shook my head. "You're lying." I whispered. Squeezing my moist eyes closed, I bit my bottom lip. "You're /lying/!" I screamed, my lungs burning. I slammed my fist onto the desk nearby, taking a deep breath. I was being childish. I was throwing a fit like some child. Maybe Snape was right calling me a foolish child, after all. Here I was, acting like one. Clenching my jaw, I did my best to hold back the years stinging my eyes. Snape was beside me again, laying a hand on my shoulder, though it was more of to restrain and silence me than to console me.

I shoved past him, storming from the room.