I sank into the covers of my bed, a mug of hot chocolate in my hands. I just silently watched the steam pig up from the slowly swirling liquid, waiting or it to cool. My thoughts occupied me as I laid there, blank-faced and silent- something I rarely was.
Ever since I ran off from him, about an hour ago now, I've been thinking. Over-analyzing whatever we had, whatever I wanted. It never could have worked. Putting what Dumbledore had said before aside, I realized what I didn't want to before: Snape and I were never meant to be.
He was everything I shouldn't have, everything that was bad for me. Not only was he my Professor, and even after school was out anything being admitted would only cause rumors and pain, but he was a cruel-hearted man. A coward. Sure, he had his good moments, but he would never change. Even when I was there before him, utterly submissive, he didn't want to care for me at all. If he can't even fight for me, he wasn't worth my time.
I couldn't help by wander, though: why her into this mess at all in the first place? I mean, really? Why allow yourself to get mixed up in this? If I was never more than a foolish child to him, why kiss me the way he had?
Nevertheless, I knew all these queries were simply just my subconscious not wanting to let go. Truth be told, I still had feelings for the man. That may never really change.
A knock sounded at my door, and I called for the visitor to enter. Tonks strode in, closing the door behind her. "Oie, how's the hot coco?" She asked, flopping down onto her bed.
I nodded in approval. "Not bad. Send my regards to the house elf. " I replied, finally daring another sip. Still piping hot, but not enough to really scald my tongue.
She sighed. "Are you sure everything is okay? I mean, you looked pretty upset before, and its my duty-"
"To keep an eye out for me." I tilted my head knowingly at her, setting my mouth into a half-smirk. "I know. And really, there's nothing wrong. I've just been stressing about ca thing up, after being gone when I was. So much work- and they say the last year is the easiest." I huffed. Not a lie. Man, I love it when I do that.
She looked back forward, pursing her lips. "You know, I e seen that look before." She pointed out.
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh?" I chimed.
The purple-haired girl nodded surely. "Oh, yes. On my own mug, even. You're having boy troubles."
I restrained myself from making some gesture that would give me away, such as biting my lip or pressing them together. Instead, I just snorted. "Right. The only boy trouble I'm having is choosing which ones not to set a firecracker on." I mumbled, taking a nervous sip from my drink.
Tonks sighed, as if having expected he truth. "If you don't wanna tell, I won't make you. However, I dot expect to be left out in the dark forever. You'll tell me eventually." She murmured, half-crestfallen.
I felt a bit guilty for not telling her- after all, Im sure she wouldn't rat me out. But this was a secret I kept near and dear, very close to my chest. I didn't want anyone else to know. Even Dumbledore was stretching it, and he found out on his own wit. Tonks would just have to wait.
I was still justifying my fibbing when Tonks rose with a jolt. I gave her a partially startled look. "Blimey. I'd almost forgotten to visit Remus." Tonks gave me a suggestive side-glance. "You don't mind if Im gone for half an hour or so, right?" She added.
I smirked fully now. "Oh boy, look at the time," I mock yawned. "Better get some shut-eye. Actually, I may not open my eyes for hours." I flitted, shrugging.
Tonks grinned, and I plopped my face forward, I he's from the rim of my mug, closing my eyes. After a few painfully fake snores, the door opened and closed. I opened one eye and peeked up. Tonks, obviously, was nowhere to be seen. I smiled toothily. We were so similar, it was funny. My first real girl friend. It was nice, actually, being close to someone of the same gender. I was always one of the boys, but at heart, I liked the female companionship a lot, too.
Taking another swig, I set the mug down on my bedside table and pulled out a box of chocolate frogs. I held the this he by its foot as I examined the card. I snorted at the sight of it. "Helga Hufflepuff- what rotten luck. That's my third of her." Grunting, I tossed the card to the opposite side of the room with a flick of my wrist, and bit into the enchanted treat. It was a chocolate kind of day.
I was shocked when there was yet another knock at the door. Furrowing my brow, I rose from the bed, setting the half-eaten sweet on the wrapper by my mug. "Forget some sexy lingerie, To-"
I stopped mid-sentance when I swung open the door. It wasn't Tonks. It was Severus Snape.
YOU ARE READING
Things Better Left Unsaid (Snape love story)Random
Philomena Chesmu is your average Seventh Year, Gryffindor girl. She's fairly smart, loves her Charms class, and holds a thirst for adventure. However, the thing that sets her apart from the other students has to be her love for the infamous Professo...