Come Together

18. invisible touch - genesis

So, what exactly was it you wanted?

You eventually wanted to open a veterinary clinic for magical creatures, but to do that, first, you needed to go to a Wizarding medical school that also offered courses in animal health and sciences. The school that you desperately wanted to go to was structured by having two years of in-class lessons, and then two years on the job, in a work-study fashion. But holy fuck was it expensive.

Even with grants and scholarships, the Wizarding World was ridiculous when it came to post secondary education. Most graduates of Hogwarts would go into apprenticeships or the public service sphere, which were considerably less costly than Wizarding University. So, if you committed to the 2 x 2 plan, you had to be committed. But, you were pretty sure you were. At least 87% sure. You would worry about it more when results would come, which would be alarmingly soon.

But! Back to the point- Snape turned out to be a much more important fixture in your life than you expected. Of course, your slight (massive) infatuation for him took up a great deal of space in your head, but that wasn't reality. It came to fruition that his being was much more prevalent than you thought, after your mutually unspoken decision to distance yourselves.

And you weren't completely clueless. He had to have had feelings for you. It wasn't like Professor McGonagall would try to kiss you after you spent the night in her office after getting plastered, or Sprout would look devastated after you told her that you knew about her sordid past. Nope, that was all Severus Snape.

Yet, there was a strong feeling in you that asserted: this was the right thing to do. There was something about pining for someone while feeding into it that gave you the creeps. No matter which way you looked at it, Snape was a decade older than you, he was in a position of power, and he had a past that, very obviously, had many flaws that you hadn't encountered or ever planned on encountering in your own adulthood.

There was something deep inside you telling you that it was inherently wrong that a minor, like you were only two years ago (one by muggle standards) was so close to an adult, and frankly, you were surprised it wasn't any concern to the adults around you. Was it because your parents were children of the sixties? Was it because nothing physical ever occurred? Was it just that it was never noticeable by outside eyes?

That couldn't have been it, because your girlfriends knew, and even when they did approach an adult with concern, they were waved off, and reassured. How would Dumbledore have known that nothing predatory was happening? Was it a wizard thing? Somehow?

You groaned.

"No! You've sighed like, five times in the past ten minutes. We're leaving," Helena said, and began to pack her various quills, rolls of parchment, and textbooks. "I don't care that we have exams- you're clearly not focusing, and I, certainly, do not want to be here either."

"But-" you started.

Helena pointed at you. "You need to get out of your own head."

How to explain that you weren't laboring over the diet of a unicorn, but about your unrequited-but-probably-requited love for your teacher, and how there was something wrong with the way things were done in the Wizarding World surrounding the welfare of children?

She continued. "You're one of my best friends, you're clearly distracted, and we only have one more exam, for a class where you probably know everything anyway. And then...?" she asked, waiting expectantly.

"Winter holidays," you answered, and couldn't hold in your grin, because honestly, even the prospect of emptying your mind of every woe was enough to lessen your concerns (though they still lingered, of course they did).

It was your second winter break at Hogwarts, but to be fair, it was also your last, so there was cause for excitement. The first being the Yule Ball, which was only to celebrate the something-hundredth anniversary of Hogwarts' opening, so there wouldn't be another for a long time.

You and the members of your dorm had all agreed to stay at Hogwarts for your last Yule, and would go back home for Easter holidays. Yule at Hogwarts, from what you remember from that hazy night three years ago, was truly a magical experience, by both wizard and muggle standards. The snow-slush you had become accustomed to in the cities of England was constantly soft and white on the grounds of the school, despite the dozens of footprints that must've stained it every day. Hagrid (who else?) would carry the tall and heavy evergreen trees (that reminded you a bit too much of him) into the school, arranging them in the Great Hall and throughout the classrooms to whichever teachers 'okayed' them being placed in their rooms. The soft light of the tall candles shifted to many small tea lights.

The spell that would usually render the ceiling of the Great Hall to reflect the true weather outside of the castle would be altered, just for the week before Christmas, until whenever students returned, to be constantly snowing delicate flakes that dissolved before they ever touched the students sitting at the wide tables.

You were almost too excited for the holidays to come- though, who wouldn't be- and you were more than slightly apprehensive, because since most students elected to go home for the holidays, that left the castle nearly entirely empty, so there was no way you could avoid mealtimes with Snape.

"Exactly," Helena said, pulling you from your thoughts. "Winter break begins, and our endless torture will cease, and we can lob snowballs at each other and lament over our slowly dwindling youth. Doesn't that sound like a good time?"

You grimaced. "Sounds like a total dream, Helena." You rolled your eyes when she raised her eyebrows enthusiastically. "Not."

She grinned, and stood up with a flourish. "Take a chill pill. Seriously. We just have to get through tomorrow, and then we can veg out, and relax."

You nodded, despite your ever-present fear of... everything, it seemed. Snape, uni, and, though Helena was joking, the feeling of missing out and life passing you by.

You shoved the few remaining supplies left out on the table into your satchel, and walked beside Helena to the dorms.

-

end note: this chapter felt like it needed to happen just to explain some things, but next one will be very sev and rose focused! i do think it will be like, another month though for the next update, bc i have finals and exams coming up that i (unfortunately) have to focus on.

thank you for reading, comments and kudos are very appreciated!