The break up effect

Chapter 10: Pain and all it's friends

He put in the Star Trek costume she wore when she tried to get him to enjoy spending time with her. To be quite honest he enjoyed spending time with her already but seeing her do all of his favourite things even when it bored her completely it made him so happy and grateful for her. The things she would do for his happiness was endless. He wanted her to keep the costume and not throw it away because he loved it on her and she looked way better in it than Star Trek ever could.

He packed the coin that was used to try and make him decide between PS4 or Xbox one and Amy was so patient that day. She really was and having her head on his shoulder was one of the reasons he didn't want to make the decision because it meant she wouldn't be lying on his shoulder anymore.

He put in the copied letter of him putting her as his important person to call when he was sick also .He obviously had to change it eventually but didn't want to do so immediately. This simple piece of paper sent her over the moon because it meant alot to her. The tiniest things made her happy.

The little train that was on the desk in his room. He bought it in Napa when they went there by train and he kissed her on the train. He told Amy why he bought it and wanted to give it to her but she insisted he kept it because she wasn't going to forget that moment any time soon. He didn't plan on kissing her but he wanted to prove a point,he was so glad he was wrong which is rare. He didn't expect to enjoy it so much,the after taste of brownie sundae that lingered on his lips. He loved trains before it but he loved trains even more now because he kissed her in one and he would never forget that.

Once he got everything packed in the box it didn't make him feel better like he thought he would. It made him feel more hurt because he craved to relive the memories now. He craved anytime he was in her presence now. He wanted it more that the Nobel prize right now and that scared him. What if she didn't want him back? What if she was sick of him already?How was he going to live without her? How was he going to get used to this pain ? He needed her like she was some sort of drug.

How would Amy look jealous he wondered as his thoughts weren't present anymore. Would she be jealous if he moved on ? Did she still love him enough to not want him to move on? He wanted to put it to the test. He blamed it on his scientific curiosity which he partly knew it wasn't just that.He went to retrieve Penny's bra and placed it in the box under the scarf.

He got to her apartment door and was going to do his usual infamous door knocking but realised she wouldn't open the door to him because apparently he 'traumatised' her. How could she say that. How could he have traumatised her. How could she feel like that if she loved him. How could the love of his life feel like that. He was so confused.He decided to only knock once which took so much in him because it was so hard.

When she opened the door,she looked disappointed to see him. He felt his heart shatter just a little bit. She looked at the box and after he told her to go through it first trying to act all normal about it,she pulled out the scarf. He reminded her about when she wore that when they went ice skating. She just listed something bad about it like she totally forgot about when he did decide to go on the ice ,he let her hold onto him, she gripped so tight fearing she would fall and he didn't complain once.

He hurt alot but knowing that he was supporting her and helping her for once he sucked through the pain. She brushed over the fact he even gave her his second jacket which he always had on him and he doesn't give to anyone but he gave it to her. She brushed over the fact he even kissed her on the cheek. She just found the negative of the night. She knew that he was cautious about being sick as he wanted to live a long life especially when he had something to lose now. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he possibly could. Every single moment. So how could she ruin all the good memories over some bad ones.