The break up effect

Chapter 3:All that are left are memories

She loved how she could still feel her lips on his ever so slightly even after the kiss was over.

"Fascinating" he said so casually like this happened to him everyday but her stomach did twirls and she didn't understand them until now.

Once she ran to the bathroom to throw up she was angry at the alcohol for ruining the moment but she loved it cause it was the reason it happened anyway. She hugged the toilet so tight so she was ready for next time.

Sheldon came into the bathroom eventually to check up on her, he hated germs and unhygienic things so when he went to hold up her hair as she threw up again in the toilet,it surprised her. He twitched his face quite a bit, he didn't like one second of any of this but he was still there for some reason and he didn't leave.

Once the nausea passed a little she leaned on the wall as her support and let Sheldon know he could go home now and that she was thankful he was there. He decided that was fair enough but he would only go after bringing her a glass of water.

He came into the bathroom carrying a glass of water and he handed it to her gently. He refused to leave until after she drank at least halfway and sat on the edge of the bath until then.

"luckily you won't remember any of this tommorow" he said softly and laughed. When he left as he was satisfied that she drank more than halfway,she smiled and fell asleep in the bathroom.

She could eventually feel the tears that were staining her cheeks again but all the memories were bittersweet. It hurt her because she could never make more with him but she missed them, she  wanted to hold them to her heart and never lose them.

She went to the kitchen and alongside the kettle on the stove was the picture of Sheldon on Santa's lap. After everyone went home and he stayed a little longer,he insisted on her putting it there so once she woke up to make her tea ,she would remember him. He said it was so that she wouldn't get so excited to see him every day like she has forgotten his face but she knew that it wasn't the reason. He sat there with his meemaw's cookies that Amy made him and he hugged it so close to him like he was going to  lose it.

Once he helped her clean up as that was his favourite part of the party instead of the party itself,they both sat on the couch in silence which Amy didn't mind this time as she knew sometimes Sheldon got overwhelmed by all the emotions and people.

"Thank you for making this Christmas not so bad, Amy. I quite enjoyed your company today." he said as it was now the only noise that filled the room. He gave a small smile to her and that was all she needed. She established that she enjoyed his company also and shared a small kiss before he went home.
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She was distracted by the sudden knock on her door and she was back to reality. She was sad but relieved to. She wiped all tears that ran down her cheek without her even noticing it and looked at her reflection in the microwave just to make sure she was okay .

She walked over to the door and before opening it,her curiosity grew to her now. Who was at the door ? It couldn't be Penny as she said she wanted time to herself today after the whole big fight with Leonard. Could it be Bernadette checking in again? she decided to feed her curiosity and opened the door.

Sheldon was there holding a box to his side. What did he want now ? she asked herself. She fought the urge to hug him in that moment to seek for some familiar comfort, it made her more mad at him because he was here but she couldn't hug him or kiss him.She knew that she was the one that broke it off but seeing him trying to be all nonchalant about the whole break up made her more upset and angry.

He said he wanted to return her things,she just nodded and thought that was reasonable,counting the seconds in her head until he left so she didn't have to give in to quickly, also to help with the butterfly feeling in her stomach mixed with the unwanted pain to.

She took out her scarf and when he remembered the memory that came with it ,she wanted to smile but she decided to list the bad thing about the memory to move on to the next one so he could leave. She has never wanted someone to stay and leave so badly. It was like her two minds were torn and pulling her in both directions.

When she saw the red lacy bra there ,she knew he was trying to pull some sort of ruse.She just carefully pulled it out and asked who it was. For some reason she knew it was just a ruse but there was something in her mind telling her what if it was not ? What if he moved on? Shouldn't she be glad then ? She shook all the unwanted thoughts to the back and continued to see Sheldon try to play like he didn't mean to put it there. It hurt her to see him hurt like this. She could hear his voice crack ever so slightly and he tried to cover it up by speaking a little deeper.

This is why she didn't want to see him because her heart broke constantly seeing him so sad like this. She hated that she had to pretend like it didn't affect her because otherwise Sheldon will be more clueless onto why she broke up with him if she knew she would hurt to. She knew that Sheldon would completely break if he knew that she would rather feel that pain than be with him because he didn't quite understand how break ups work.

Once Sheldon handed her the rest of the box ,knowing his ruse didn't work and he carried Penny's bra which Amy assumed and he left. Amy felt relief but she felt pain to. This was all confusing for her. She didn't know it could hurt this much to love someone. Was it even worth it ? Is the pain worth it ?
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She placed the box on the coffee table and sat on the sofa. She just stared at it for a couple of minutes and wondered if she should go through the rest. Replaying the memories helped a little. It didn't make her heart ache so bad.

As she was contemplating in her mind whether she would go through it or not,her phone rang which was placed next to  her laptop. She got up and was hoping that it was but it also wasn't Sheldon. She looked at the caller Id and she was both relieved but also sad at the outcome.

It was Bernadette. She picked up the phone and placed it next to her ear. "Hey Amy , I was wondering if you wanted to do a girl's day today with Penny,seeing that you are both sad right now and need comfort."she said sweetly and gently.

She looked at the box for a while and wondered if maybe she should just be alone. She didn't really feel like going out anyway.

There was silence for a while then eventually Amy said,"yes ,sure I need a distraction.".

Which was true,she decided instead of sitting there feeling in so much emotional pain she was gonna be sick ,she would rather hang out with her friends and at least feel the pain there where they could comfort her little and she can help Penny to.

They were no Sheldon when she needed comfort even though he wasn't good at comforting in the first place,he at least tried and that was the biggest comfort of all, but her friends were pretty good at making her feel better to and she would just have to  learn to only not need Sheldon when she was down .

She collected her things and before heading out the door again she looked at the box for a second and agreed that going out is what needs to be done, she then closed the door behind her.
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Thank you so much for reading this far and I hope to see you in the next chapter :)