2/3

it's not my fault

I keep apologizing, but I just realized. It’s not my fault...no one but myself knew how much pain I was really in. It was unbearable...and yes I was weak and used the easiest way out. At Least that’s one everyone says, but is it the easiest way out? Not to the people that do it no,

Do you know how long we think about committing before we actually do? We think about everyone...the things we could live for but in the end it comes down to us. We try to live for other people, but in the end it’s still hurting us. I tried I honestly did b-but what they did was my last straw

I’m not sure if I’m dating them or not.. There’s a few times they’ve tried to kiss me but I obviously dodged. Nothing can happen until we solve this problem between us. 

The suicidal thoughts don’t completely go away after an attempt. It depends on how bad our life is and the people who can fix it. Most people want to die more, and hate themselves more for failing something that’s supposed ‘so easy’. It’s not easy actually…

Doesn't matter how quick it is...even if we're holding a gun to our head which is the quickest death...it’s not easy. It hurts--- Me? I think the people I now have can fix me, but as of right now...I still want to die.

It’s not bad or anything...it’s not like ‘oh i’m out of the hospital I’m gonna do it now’. It’s like ‘i failed...we have to do it again and cause them more pain then they're already at’. I’ve imagined my death so many times , I’ve imagined my loved ones reactions so many times, but nothing compares to what actually happened.

Is this one of those “everything happens for a reason”. So I lived for a reason? I feel like I'm still waiting for that reason. Is my reason for them? If so I’m still waiting for them to show it to me.

Admitting your love can’t be enough until you continue to prove our love...have I? No...I’m waiting for them

authors note// i know it's short,but i had to get sum posted