ɴᴀᴍᴊɪɴ ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs • 🔒

4) Regret (Angst)

POV Reader
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Dear my love,

Guess it was true...

Me being dumb...

You being oblivious...

Maybe, I didn't want to accept that I, a straight person could fall for a straight guy...

Maybe that's why

It was so pleasing to watch you suffer

Even though I knew that

The real person suffering was me...

Maybe that's why

I hated you...

Because no one has

Ever made me feel like you do,

Seokjin...

Right now, watching you laughing and being happy for once in your life...

hurts...

A lot...

Even more that I know that he's the cause of your happiness...

It's selfish

I know...

I don't deserve to even love or admire such a pure and innocent soul like you Seokjin...

I had so many chances

So many...

But I fucked all of them up...

I had countless chances, countless moments with you...

I could for once let go of my stupid ego and just apologize to you

For everything...

For hurting you...

For hurting your feelings...

For making fun of you...

For never understanding you...

For hating you for no reason...

At least

I think

You wouldn't have at least hated me right now if I had apologized...

I was an asshole...

Not considering your feelings...

Always looking down upon you...

Always making crude comments about you...

Always calling you names...

This whole ordeal of hate

Was started by me anyway...

If only I wasn't so stubborn and stupid...

Would you be with me instead right now?

Smiling at me instead?

Smiling because of me and not because of him?

Would I have the reason behind your happiness instead of tears and disgust?

Would you...

love me instead of hating me now?

Would you have felt anything but disgust and hate for me?