Midnights In Paris | Jenlisa

Hiraeth

Lisa moaned against her mouth, her hands laying at Jennie's back where they traced the line of her spine, goosebumps rising seconds after her hand had touched her skin. She had always been responsive to every touch coming from the younger. She just pretended she wasn't, silently hoping Lisa knew why she would rarely let her touch her like she did with her. Why she flinched when Lisa lowered her hand in between their bodies. Why she couldn't stand to let Lisa build her up only to make her fall apart. Again. And again.

And, like Lisa expected, Jennie crumbled. And she just let her, her whole body weight resting against her skin as her chest felt heavy, and not only because of the girl laying on her.

"Jennie" Lisa whispered. This time, though, it sounded exasperated. Exhausted, even. Like she knew she would get the same answer as she always did.

The black haired girl kept silent as her ear was pressed against the bony chest of Lisa, listening to her uneven heartbeat. Her eyes closed as she let the dull sound of the girl's heart lull her to another dimension. One where everything was going as it was supposed to. One where she'd let Lisa return the favor and they'd lay there, both feeling like one instead of the neither of them feeling like a whole.

"Jennie" Lisa tried again. This time circling both her arms around the exile figure of the girl on top of her.

She didn't move, having entered her usual catatonic state, as a tear left the corner of Lisa's eyes.

"Please, let me..." a moment of hesitation made it unable to mask a sob, hating how her heart had wanted to say "love you".

And Jennie swore she could hear the sound of Lisa's heart strings break as she laid still, not muttering a single word, hating herself for making the brunette feel like she wasn't enough for her. When in fact, she was too much.

"Chaeyoung? What are you doing here?" Lisa asked, her appearance more than noticeably disheveled than the blonde girl who stood in front of her in her work attire.

"Jennie sent me" Chaeyoung said, her joint hands clutching on to a tiny, expensive-looking, cream leather bag. Lisa couldn't help but think how the girl standing in front of her was the farthest thing from the skinny bubbly blonde who used to be her best friend.

"I see you decided to take her offer at the end" the sarcasm on Lisa's voice didn't go unnoticed by the tall blonde, who shot her a pleading look.

"Lisa..." her words came out more resembling a scold, a plead to not go down that road again, rather than anything.

"That's okay, I moved on" Lisa stopped her, she couldn't stand the look of pity Chaeyoung was throwing her " it just makes me laugh how I lost both my best friend and my girlfriend at once for a job".

Lisa's words left a sour taste on both of their mouths. Her forced chuckle wasn't enough to hide how hurt she still was. How that had been all she was able to think about for the last two years.

"It's not only... a job" Chaeyoung said defensively "and don't you think you're being a hypocrite right now?"

Lisa had had enough time on her hands to know that that was the farthest thing for the truth. Yes, she might have been a little too in her feeling still. But to her, that was justifiable. Like the rage she felt coming onto her and swallow her whole like high tide during a summer night.