Loki's Pain

Chapter Twenty-one- Misunderstandings

Author's Note: This chapter was edited and slightly rewritten due to the changes in the previous chapter/s. The bulk of the chapter is the same, however.

Ash and Loki were in their new apartment in the Avengers Compound, and Ash had busied himself unpacking his few belongings into the new dressers and closets.

Loki was sitting on the corner of the bed behind him, staring out the wide windows along one wall at a vibrantly green field of grass bordered by tall pine trees. Bright sunlight sparkled in dew encrusted grass, making it look as if it had been sprinkled with glitter. Loki never peeled his eyes away from the landscape before him.

Loki spoke, his voice mildly distracted, "Asgard is so much more beautiful....you should see it sometime...."

"Asgard?" Ash asked.

Loki finally looked at Ash, but his eyes were still distant, as if he was looking at him thru a thick fog, "Yes. It is beautiful there...." He looked away once more, going silent for awhile before speaking as if the conversation had continued on its own, "I'm finding it harder and harder to tell what's real, Ash. I asked Tony for help. I had to. Asgard would just lock me up. It is beautiful, but there is no such thing as insanity there.....the unbalanced just get thrown into cages until they get better or die.... My being Jotun wouldn't help, they'd probably throw away the key!!!....I can't ....." He was growing more frantic as he talked, the fear of being imprisoned forcing him to his feet. He paced back and forth for a few moments before Ash walked over and grasped his arms, stopping him in his tracks and getting his attention.

"Do you feel me, Loki?" He asked softly, his voice gentle. Loki nodded, but fear and suspicion clouded their normally brilliant green shade. "Do you feel the warmth of my hands on your skin?" Ash asked further, hoping to ground him in reality. Loki hesitated, but eventually nodded, curiosity joining the suspicion as fear began to fade. "Feel the air around you? The light shining in your eyes? Smell the new paint and chemicals? Hear the bustle of workers down the hall?" Ash asked, his voice still soft as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Loki's waist, "Do you feel my heart beating in my chest?"

"It doesn't prove anything.... Maw could still be playing with my mind..... I see things, hear things....." Loki said softly, brokenly, barely above a whisper even as he wrapped his own arms around Ash's shoulders and rested his chin on his head.

"No, it doesn't. Does it? But, I don't have to prove I'm real, only make sure you are happy...." Ash stated then, shocking Loki to his core. He doubted any actual hallucination he would have would ever care about his happiness. He was forced to conclude that Ash must not be a figment of his imagination, at least in that moment. Loki would never imagine perfection for himself after everything he had done.

"Why would you care?" Loki asked him, his voice rough from unshed tears.

"Did you forget how we met?" Ash asked seriously, tilting his head back to stare Loki in the eyes, and watched as Loki struggled to recall it. Even when he did, he didn't seem to understand the relevance.

"Loki....you are my hero." Ash replied gently, "You. Not the Avengers. Not Iron Man. Not any of the rest. You. You saved me...not them. Despite being on the run, you took the time to save a no-account orphan being beaten up by an old man." He gently caressed the side of Loki's face, "And no matter how much help the others have given me since, no matter how selfish your reasons may have been, no matter what my family ties have turned out to be...none of it would even matter now if you had not saved me at the start. You will always be my hero. So how could I not care?" Ash hugged him more tightly then, leaning his head against his shoulder to hear his heart racing faster than ever before, "How could I not have fallen for you, you big dummy...."